Page 111 of Let’s Make a Scene

We sit quietly for a moment.

“You know if you’re not comfortable with shooting the scene then there are a million ways we can work around it,” she says finally. “We can use a body double, make cuts. No pressure, no judgment, no second-guessing. You say the word and that’s what we’ll do.”

Tears sting my eyes, and something eases off me. I realize I’d been braced for an attack, not empathy. I battle the instinct telling me that abandoning the scene would be a failure, would make me a failure.

“I appreciate that,” I say, finally. “But it’s not the scene. It wasn’t that I felt unsafe. I’ve filmed scenes where I was far less comfortable with what was going on.”

“That’s not the solid argument you think it is.” Jasmine sighs. “Being uncomfortable shouldn’t be normal. As a director it’s my job to make sure that doesn’t happen. It’s not my job to torture a performance out of you.”

Oof. That hits a little close to home.

Jasmine nods like she knows what I’m thinking. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course.”

“Have you been thinking about getting into directing?”

It’s the last thing I was expecting her to ask. In fact, it seems so wildly off topic that I give her an unguarded answer. “Yes.”

She nods. “I thought so. The way you’ve been approaching the scenes, your notes. The way you talk to the crew. It feels like you have a more complete vision.”

“Why did you ask that now?” I’m puzzled. “I haven’t mentioned anything about directing to anyone.” Well, almost anyone.

“Because directing puts you in a position of power. The dynamics are tricky. For me, it’s a priority that you feel safe on set. It shouldn’t come as a surprise that we’d want that for you. If you want to direct you need to think about what you’d do with that power, how you’d want to use it.”

Something about the way she says this has the back of my neck prickling. “Are you…” I hesitate, thinking perhaps her roundabout question wasn’t that roundabout at all, that she was leading the conversation here. “Are you talking about Shawn?”

For the first time, she looks away. “Let’s just say that Shawn Hardy has a certain reputation with women in this industry.”

I straighten. “What?” I stare at her, but she turns back to me, her gaze steady. “I mean, I know he has a reputation for being difficult to work with,” I continue slowly, “but are you saying that he’s…”

“A predator?” Jasmine’s mouth pulls up ruefully. “I’m afraid so. Isn’t it hell that there are so many of them out there? And they look just like the good guys too.”

“You don’t have to say it like I’ve never run into any of them,” I snap, unsettled.

“Of course you have,” she agrees mildly. “How could you not in this game? It’s just that Shawn Hardy is a special sort of manipulative, controlling dirtbag. You probably hadn’t heard about it because he tends to target much more junior crew or cast members, the sort who won’t dare make a fuss. Plus, there are dozens of NDAs on the go.” She tilts her head, considering me. “You were something of an anomaly. He almost blew his cover there. Very quick to cast you as the wicked seductress, wasn’t he? Really did a bang-up job of turning Hollywood’s golden girl into an unreliable narrator.”

Puzzle pieces start to fall horribly into place.

“It wasn’t your fault, Cynthie,” Jasmine says quietly. “Whatever he did. I can guarantee it wasn’t your fault. You shouldn’t have to carry it around. If you want to talk, then you can talk to me. I actually know a couple of people who’ve worked with him and had difficult experiences, so maybe you’d prefer to speak with them. It’s your call. You know best what you need.”

It’s an unexpected offer from a woman who has always seemed remote and self-contained, and I appreciate it, even as I’m not sure if I could ever take her up on it.

“I told Shawn that I was interested in directing,” I say distantly. “I hadn’t mentioned it to anyone else. It was how things started between us. I hoped he’d be a sort of mentor. At first it was like that… like he really believed in me, then we started sleeping together and things changed. He made me feel foolish that I’d even considered it, like I needed to stay in my lane. By the end, I believed him.”

Jasmine sighs heavily. “Fucking hell, Cynthie, you run a long con, don’t you?”

“What do you mean?” I ask, startled.

She gives me a very small smile. “Thirteen years ago, I told you I wasn’t here to be your mentor or your friend. Now it looks like I might end up being both.”

And then, against all odds, I find myself laughing.

Chapter 37 JACK

In the end, Cynthie comes back on set and we shoot the scene without any further incident. As much as it killed me not to go after her, it looks like Jasmine was right when she said it should be her. When the pair of them finally return to the room, there’s a new light in Cynthie’s eye, a spark of determination that I recognize.

“Are you sure this is okay?” I ask, quietly. “If it’s not, we can walk away right now, figure something else out?”