Page 92 of Under Your Spell

I can see how much it means to all these people to meet him. I can see how careful he’s being to give them something that will make them happy. How they’ll go home and tell their friends, ‘You won’t believe it. I met Theo Eliott in real life, and he was so nice.’

It’s bringing up memories of being with Ripp, and Sam too, that don’t feel great, but I’m still aware that it’s different. Theo doesn’t live for it the way they did, and his eyes flicker to me often, measuring, checking in with me. I realize with a pang that when I was in this situation with my dad, I always felt like he wanted me to fade into the background, that I couldn’t exist for him because every fan he met was the most important person in the room – after himself of course. I don’t feel that with Theo.

With Theo, I’m the most important person in any room.

‘Mostly, I’m interested in snagging some of these canapés before they’re all gone,’ I say, placing a hand over my stomach. ‘I’m starving.’

Theo grins, and then insists we track down every member of the waiting staff so that we can try and compare each different offering. When I tell him I prefer the mushroom tartlets to the miniature lemon cheesecakes he tells me firmly that I’m out of my tree and stuffs another cheesecake bite in my mouth. I’m half laughing, half-choking when I see the wedding photographer has captured the moment.

‘You guys are so cute,’ she smiles, before moving on.

‘Yeah, we are,’ Theo beams, hooking his arm around me and pressing a kiss to my temple. I squeeze my eyes shut, worried that he’s going to see my whole heart in them.

Chapter Thirty-Four

It’s not long afterwards that we go in for dinner. We’re sitting with Theo’s family and I feel myself relax as that sense of being on display disappears. After we’ve eaten, Lisa swaps seats with Theo to sit beside me. She looks incredible in a long, sequined pink dress.

The tables have been cleared though people are lingering over coffee and drinks. There’s a band who’ve been playing soft, jazzy covers through dinner, but who are moving on to something more upbeat now. Cara is beginning to drag people up to dance.

‘If this is the rehearsal, I can’t wait to see the place tomorrow,’ I say to Lisa.

‘I know it’s all ridiculous,’ she grins, ‘but it seemed mad not to let all our friends make the most of the hotel.’

‘It’s not ridiculous at all. All these people love you and they’re so excited to celebrate you and Rob. You can feel it in the air; it’s lovely.’

‘I’m so glad you’re here,’ Lisa says, and she squeezes my hand.

I squeeze back. ‘Me too,’ I say honestly.

Later, I wander outside to cool down, pressing my hands to my flushed, pink cheeks. It’s dark now, and the stars are out, scattered across a velvet black sky: the splintered light from the mirror ball inside multiplied by infinity.

There’s a handful of people out smoking and vaping, and I lift my hand in greeting to them before carrying on further into the grounds, away from the noise and the lights, just for a minute, just to catch my breath.

Down one of the gravel pathways is an archway cut through a tall hedge, and beyond that a small, private garden with a stone bench. I sit down with a grateful sigh. The high shrubbery encloses the space, and I feel my shoulders relax. It’s fun being here, but it’s a lot of people, especially after the solitude of the past six weeks.

There’s a crunching sound as someone else walks down the path, and I don’t even wonder for a moment who it might be, so sure it’s Theo – the only other person I want to see right now. I left him sitting with his mum, a sleeping Oliver in his lap, his face pink and happy.

‘Here you are,’ he says, stepping through to my hiding place.

‘Here I am,’ I agree. ‘You didn’t have to worry about me; you were having a nice time with your mum.’

He saunters over, his hands in his pockets. ‘She took Oliver and Hannah up to bed,’ he says, sitting down next to me. ‘Good luck to her. The baby finally fell asleep. Hannah’s still going strong.’ He tips his head back, closes his eyes for a moment.

‘That’s because you were slipping her all those sweets that are supposed to be wedding favours for tomorrow.’

His mouth tugs up. ‘Hey, that’s what uncles are for.’

‘Winding children up and then leaving someone else to try and wrestle them into their pyjamas?’

‘Exactly,’ he nods. ‘All the fun, none of the responsibility. It’ll be different when I’m a parent. Might as well make the most of it.’

The image of Theo holding a little dimpled baby temporarily cuts off the blood flow to my brain. I might have to put my head down between my legs.

‘Do you want children, then?’ I ask casually. Or at least, I aim for casual, but it definitely comes out too squeaky to pull it off.

‘Yes, I think so,’ he says, his face still tipped up, away from me.

‘Lisa said she thought you’d make a great dad,’ I say.