Page 91 of This Witch Is Not Wicked

Iblinked my eyes open to sunlight, warmth, and a firm mattress under my back. I tried to sit up, but strong hands pushed me back down.

“Don’t,” a voice that I would recognize anywhere said. “Just rest.”

“Nevan.” His hands released me, and I shot up despite his warning, then winced as a sharp pain ricocheted through my head.

“Enid,” Nevan warned, “remember who the healer is here?”

I didn’t care. My blurry vision focused on him, and I threw my arms around his neck. “You’re alive. You’re alive, you’re alive, you’re alive.” I kissed all over his face, unable to stop touching him and feeling his body. “Wait. How are you alive?”

“You’re going to have to stop touching me like that.” He gently pushed me to arm’s length.

“What happened?” I asked, unable to remember much of anything, my brain so foggy and tired. All I knew was that I’d been close to losing Nevan, and now he was here in front of me, and he was okay.

Vine was curled up beside me, coiled and still.

“It’s been by your side since we got back. Hasn’t left, not even to catch food. It’s been really worried about you.”

“How long have I been asleep?” I asked.

“A day,” Nevan said.

I wasn’t surprised.

“And I don’t know what happened. I was hoping you’d tell me.” I realized Nevan wasn’t wearing his spectacles. The sound of crunching glass filled my ears, and suddenly it all came rushing back.

“You fell in the mud pit chasing me,” I said. “Stupid, stubborn man.”

He grinned. “It was worth it.”

My heart clenched tight. “Don’t say that.”

“You saved me,” he said. “But how? How did you get me out of that mud? I woke up, half my body still encased while you were passed out next to me. I dug the rest of the way out, then carried you back to Fairwitch. Luckily a lily pad was waiting for us right inside the barrier.”

I swallowed and looked down at my amulet. “I managed to get the plants in the bog to help, and I pulled you along with them, but I exerted so much effort I must’ve lost consciousness.”

He rubbed his jaw, his mind working through what I’d just told him.

“It doesn’t matter,” I said quickly, hoping he’d just leave it at that and not ask any more questions. “Either way, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for running away.”

Our entire conversation before I’d taken off flooded my memories, and my heart felt like it might implode all over again.

I’d been a coward. I had no problem telling off his entire family, but when it came to Nevan, I couldn’t stand the thought of breaking his heart. Or maybe I was afraid of breaking my own. Either way, nothing had changed between last night and now.

My magic had always been twisted, warped, and if Nevan found out my identity, he’d also find out all the terrible ways my magic had hurt people over the years. Had destroyed. He wouldn’t love me then.

“Can we finish our conversation?” he asked. “Or would you rather wait⁠—”

“No,” I said quickly. I leaned back against the headboard. I couldn’t keep running from this. I’d run last night, and look what had happened. Nevan had nearly died trying to tell me how he felt. I had to let him say what he needed, and then I’d have to completely break his heart. And the worst part of it all was that I wouldn’t be able to tell him why.

At least not every detail.

“Enid, what I was trying to say last night before you ran away . . .”

My breath hitched, my heart squeezing tighter and tighter, and I braced for impact.

“Is that I don’t want this to be pretend anymore.” He grabbed my hands, his impossibly warm and strong. I wanted so badly to squeeze them in return, to lean into him, but I made myself stay still. “I love you,” he said breathlessly. “I love you in a way I never thought I could love anyone. You make me better. You make me braver. You make me want things for myself, and most of all, you make me not afraid to go after those things for the first time ever. But right now, what I want more than anything is you. So I’m going after it, and I’m telling you that I want this for real. No more pretending.”

Tears welled in my eyes, dripping down my cheeks. Stupid fucking tear ducts. I was ready to rip these things out.