Page 58 of This Witch Is Not Wicked

I didn’t want to add to his pain, so I reined in my anger and straightened my shoulders. “I will fix this. I just have to find her. Something happened.” I shoved a hand through my hair. “Something bigger than us. I can’t explain it.”

Cillian’s ice blue eyes crinkled as he straightened. “You better figure out a way to. Because everyone is going to want an explanation. Fairwitch is already on edge as it is. The brotherhood is out there. They know of our existence. They’re searching for us, and eventually, they’ll find us again. Moving the castle was a bandage, nothing more. Now we have to worry about angering a godwitch, earning their wrath.”

I swallowed. “I know. I know, okay? Just let me speak with her.” I squeezed my eyes shut, hating the words that were about to come out of my mouth. “And I’ll start the house calls. Tomorrow.”

Cillian’s eyes brightened at that, his entire demeanor changing in an instant. “Good man. That’ll cheer up the townspeople.” He clapped me on the shoulder, then walked toward a group of townspeople, speaking to them in a low, calm tone.

I started toward the bog, slipping between two of the businesses and stopping right where the edge of the city met the murky green water. A lily pad floated in front of me, and I swallowed thickly, remembering the last time I’d ridden one of these damn things. I’d fallen off and almost drowned.

Enid’s crumpled, pale face flashed in my mind. Sadness had filled her eyes. I’d never seen her like that, and it broke my heart.

I balled my hands into fists and stepped onto the lily pad.

CHAPTER 24

Enid

Idrew my knees to my chest, squeezing my body into a ball in the middle of one of my many gardens. If I squeezed hard enough, I could stop feeling all the grief and panic coursing through me.

I wanted to take the memory of everyone’s horrified stares and rip it from my brain. I’d throw it as far as I could. Those kinds of stares weren’t anything new. I couldn’t count the number of times I’d experienced them over the years. But it felt different this time because I thought our plan was working. Before I’d had that breakdown, no one had been sending angry glares my way. No one was going out of their way to avoid me. I was just another person.

I felt like I was a part of something.

It had all been a lie, and for the first time in a long time, it felt like the heart I’d been convinced didn’t work was breaking.

“Enid.”

I shouldn’t have been surprised that he’d come. Nevan stood over me, face pinched in concern. Probably concern for the statue that Vine had obliterated.

I wouldn’t let him be the one to tell me I was getting exiled. I’d show him that I already knew, that I didn’t care. “Well, if I wasn’t exiled before, I certainly am now.”

This was it. This was the moment Nevan realized who I truly was—a monster. Someone who ruined things for everyone else time and time again.

He sat next to me, silent for a moment, probably searching for the words to tell me how badly I’d messed up.

“I’m sorry that happened,” he finally said, and my head snapped in his direction.

Surely he wasn’t apologizing to me.

He hesitated. “Enid, why did that statue upset you so much? I know this isn’t a real relationship, but I’d like to think we’re friends, and as your friend, I want to protect you. I can’t do that if you’re not truthful with me.”

He didn’t understand. I couldn’t be truthful. The best I could do was tell him half-truths.

“The earth godwitch stands for everything I’m not,” I said slowly, choosing my words carefully. “Beauty and peace and harmony. Their creations are celebrated and adored. While mine are demonized.”

He nudged me. “These aren’t exactly your creations. You just happened to make a sentient bog your home, and incredibly enough, it answers to you.”

I snorted. That was one way of putting it, but I was glad he’d misinterpreted my accidental admission. I needed to be more cautious with my words.

I swallowed and tried again. “My mother loved the earth godwitch. Worshipped them and planted a garden in their honor—flowers and vegetables and bushes and trees that they loved dearly.”

Certainly more than me.

“When I was little, I accidentally destroyed it all.”

I still remembered skipping into Mother’s garden in the early morning before anyone was awake, planning a special surprise. At six, I hadn’t come into my magic yet, but I thought I could water and prune everything. I’d worked so hard, spent hours carefully pulling weeds and attending to each and every flower.

Eventually, I’d fallen asleep and awoken to my mother screaming. I still wasn’t sure how I’d done it since I hadn’t come into my magic yet. Maybe it had awoken for just a moment, just long enough to destroy everything my mother loved the most. Overgrown weeds had sprouted, throttling all Mother’s plants. Petals had dropped off the stems. Fungus covered the trees.