Page 28 of The Little Porto Book Club

When the waiter returns with more share plates I ask, ‘Are these dishes free of almonds?’

He gives me a nod and sing-songs, ‘No almonds, I promise.’

I don’t like his jocular tone. Something about the word promise feels off. Tiago doesn’t seem fazed though. ‘Do you think he slipped an almond into your meal?’

Tiago’s expressive eyebrows shoot up. ‘No. Why would he?’

‘No reason. Have you got your EpiPen?’

Tiago does the usual panicked pat-down. ‘Ah, yes. I have it.’

‘Let me see.’ He very well could have a fountain pen in his pocket, which won’t help when time is of the essence. He brandishes it and I take note of the style of pen. ‘We need a backup pen in future. In case you forget yours.’

‘You want to carry an EpiPen around?’

‘I don’t want to, but chances are you will have misplaced yours right when we need it. And as much as I enjoy reading a good whodunnit, I don’t like dead bodies in real life.’

‘You care about me.’ His voice lilts at the end as if he’s surprised by the idea.

Can you care for a friend so quickly? Care is multilayered, so I reply truthfully. ‘Yes. I worry about you dying and wish you’d take more interest in life-preserving measures.’

‘Thanks, Viviane. I promise I’ll do better. And I’ll even get a second EpiPen for you, so you can rest assured if you’re in the vicinity and I’ve misplaced mine there will be a backup. Now, actually … I have a little something for you.’

‘For me?’

He takes a gift wrapped in tissue paper from his rucksack and hands it to me. ‘It’s an apology gift.’

I tamp down my smile but it’s a losing battle. ‘What are you apologising for?’

‘My poor walking etiquette the other day.’

I open the box to find a pristine white shirt with book-shaped buttons. I’m impressed.

‘This is gorgeous.’ I give him a dazzling smile. I’m touched beyond measure. ‘Thank you.’

‘I found the buttons in a quirky shop on Rua Miguel Bombarda. After watching a couple of YouTube tutorials, I managed to sew them on. What can I say, I’ve got a lot of time on my hands lately.’ He lets out a laugh that rings out across the tasca.

‘You sewed them on?’

‘I hope they’re not too asymmetrical. Threading such a small needle took forever.’

A shock of laughter spills from my lips before I catch it. They’re wonky, but that’s what makes it special. ‘This is so thoughtful. I can’t wait to wear it.’ I trace the book-shaped buttons with a finger. Not only is it the perfect gift for a bookworm but the shirt is made from breathable fabric, not polyester which I can’t wear because I feel like I’m being strangled in plastic. Does he know this about me? For someone so lax he can be rather astute. ‘You’re forgiven for your momentary lapse in concentration while walking, Tiago,’ I joke.

‘What a relief.’ He pretends to mop his brow. ‘Now, as for the Lucinda mystery. We need to talk to her. There’s no other way.’

I grimace. ‘I have a horrible premonition she won’t be back to book club.’ His face falls. Perhaps this is the time for positivity? I don’t want to cast a pall on the evening. ‘If she does return though, we’ll pull her aside and present the facts as we know them and tell her …’ I lower my voice so the table of four don’t hear ‘… homicide is not the answer.’

‘Yes, some light torture would suffice,’ he deadpans.

My jaw unhinges.

‘Joke. I’m joking!’ The gesticulating ramps up a notch, and I quickly blow out the candle so Tiago doesn’t self-immolate by accident. ‘And I’m happy to accept your offer, but what does a bumbling sidekick do?’

Is he joking again? ‘You don’t know, not even after reading The Quill Chronicles? Surely you jest, Tiago!’ Detective Amber Quill goes into the specifics of how her sidekick Dr Alexander came to be in book one, The Baffling Disappearance at Briar Lodge. And just what qualities a sidekick must possess.

‘Oh, umm, yes. But I’m only on book four.’

How perplexing. ‘You read the other books in the series first though, right; one, two and three?’ Perhaps Tiago is one of those readers who don’t retain much information once they’ve finished the book. It happens. With his line of work he’s probably been exposed to a lifetime of five-second videos and the damage has been done.