Page 76 of The Edge of Always

‘Or is that how you like it, Emmett? Do you want me to just pine for you the whole time while you give me weird looks and say I’m beautiful one time and then barely speak to me another? Because it’s messed up.’

Emmett looked like Luna had hit him.

‘No, Luna. I don’t… I didn’t.’ He must have understood her then, because he said, ‘You are beautiful, but our friendship is the most important thing to me ever. I’d never want to… you know…’

He couldn’t get the words out. However, Luna seemed to have plenty of them, all ready to go. Possibly, years of angst were just pouring right out of her right now.

‘That’s chicken, Emmett, and you know it. What about what I want?’ She kept shouting.

‘What is it that you want, Luna?’

This is it, she thought. Emmett couldn’t say it. He wasn’t capable of saying it. It would always have to be her.

Luna took a deep breath. She’d been so brave on this day. Braver than she’d ever been, perhaps.

But she couldn’t say it either.

And wasn’t that tragic, she thought, that the pair of them were so messed up that neither of them were willing to take the chance? Emmett might have been running away from his feelings, but Luna hadn’t exactly been putting it all out there.

‘I just want to be honest.’ She told him the only words that she could find. And anyway, it was the truth. ‘I don’t want to spend the rest of my life burying everything I feel. I want to be honest with myself. And with you. It’s just… hard.’

He was closer to her now, looking right at her. The sun was behind him, giving him a halo.

‘You’re really important to me, Luna,’ he said.

It wasn’t enough. It would never be enough.

‘You’re important to me too, Emmett.’

‘I’d hate to ever lose you.’

‘You won’t. I’m not going anywhere.’

‘You’re leaving in the morning,’ he smiled.

‘I know, but aside from that. You’ll always have me.’

‘Good, I couldn’t bear it.’ He pulled her towards him, and she went, hugging him hard. She felt the warm press of his body, and she knew that he was crying by the way his ribs shook.

‘It’s okay,’ she told him. ‘Things will always be okay.’

The sea tried to move them, dragging them with the tide, and Luna thought that that was how things were with her and Emmett. They were buffeted by the waves, clinging to each other, trying to stay together when there was so much pushing against them.

‘I’ll be back next summer,’ she told him. ‘And I’ll write.’

He pulled back, his eyes red. ‘You promise?’

Luna tried to find a smile for him. ‘I promise.’