Page 66 of The Edge of Always

‘I’ll see you in the morning.’

He straightens too, shaking his head, just a touch.

‘Yes, see you in the morning, Luna. Thank you, for a perfect day.’

And with that, Emmett walks away.

I’m desperate for some of my own space, some peace and quiet so that I can reground myself, but my phone has been blowing up constantly since I sent Mae the picture of the carousel. So, once I’m in my room, I skim through the gazillion messages she sent, focusing in on the last couple.

Mae: Are you shagging him now?

Mae: I can’t believe you’re having sex with Emmett.

Mae: Have I taught you nothing?

Mae: Is it good at least?

Mae: I bet he’s really kinky. The mysterious ones always are :/

Me: I’m not having sex with Emmett. I’m in my hotel room, alone!

Mae: Okay, I don’t know whether to be proud or not.

Me: He showed me around all day and looked after me when I took a funny turn this afternoon.

Mae: What do you mean, funny turn?

Me: I just got shattered walking up the Eiffel Tower. I’m fine now.

Mae: YOU WALKED UP THE EIFFEL TOWER?? I’LL KILL HIM. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING??

Me: That it might be nice to feel normal for once? I told him I had glandular fever.

Mae: Shit.

Me: I know.

Mae: You still didn’t tell him then?

Me: Nope. I won’t be telling him tomorrow either. Or the next day.

Mae: What are you doing tomorrow?

Me: Going to see The Edge of Always again. The curator wanted to talk to me. And other places from Earl’s art. There was a cemetery, and a door, we don’t know what that is though. I’m staying with Emmett until Friday. The hotel didn’t have more space.

Mae: Wow. Lot to unpack there. Ask one of your internet sleuths to figure out the door. A whimsical art-inspired tour of Paris and staying in his bed. This is all sounding very romantic to me.

Mae might be onto something with the Deathers.

Me: Yeah, in a completely tragic way. Plus, there’s a spare bed.

Mae: Course there is.

Mae: Aren’t all the best love stories tragedies?

I shake my head at my phone. This isn’t a love story. It’s just a tragedy.

Mae: For the record, I still vote for telling him.

In a way, Mae is right. I should tell Emmett my secret.

I’m so weary of it all, but my being weary doesn’t change the fact that I’m doing exactly what I did all those years ago – by not telling Emmett the truth. I barely admitted the truth to myself back then. But that one lie – it devastated Emmett so much that he left and never came back. I’ve thought so often about how I’d do things differently if I could have that time again.

So many secrets. Mistakes too. Earl, Emmett, Ahmed. Ahmed. That was not my finest moment.

But that’s the thing: honesty this time around makes no difference. It makes no difference at all to how this ends.