Page 41 of The Edge of Always

Something that felt a lot like guilt started to wrap itself around Luna, starting at her ankles and squeezing her as it went, like an anaconda might. It made her feel hot and sticky and a bit sick. And also, she was crying. Which was humiliating.

‘I didn’t think… Cadence maybe…’

Emmett realised that Luna was crying. Why was she like this?

His voice softened. ‘What’s Cadence got to do with it?’

Oh God, Luna couldn’t… she couldn’t admit that she’d spent the year obsessing over the fact that Emmett had been up here doing god knows what with Cadence. She’d never recover from the humiliation.

Not since Emmett was reaching up to wipe her tears away. Swiping them off with his thumbs. Luna found that she couldn’t breathe.

‘I just thought… it doesn’t matter,’ she finished weakly through sobs.

He was so close to her now. She could see his eyelashes, all of them. The slight line between his eyebrows, where he was still frowning. Luna thought it was now a frown of concern rather than anger.

He wiped another tear.

‘You’re my best friend, Luna. Cadence has nothing to do with me and you.’

Luna sniffed.

‘I needed you this year. Things with Mum… it’s been hard.’

The guilt made her cry all the harder. Luna was forced to admit that she was the villain in this here tale. It was one thing being disappointed with the state of the world. It was quite another being disappointed with yourself.

‘I’m sorry, Emmett.’ She turned to face away from him. She couldn’t bear it anymore. But then Emmett’s hands were on the tops of her arms. Her skin felt hot under his touch. ‘I wasn’t thinking properly. All year,’ she finished.

‘I always want to talk to you, Luna.’

Luna was actually amazed that her heart didn’t just swell straight out of her chest. She always wanted to talk to Emmett too.

‘Friends?’ Emmett tacked on as her swollen heart deflated like a comedy balloon. But really, being friends with Emmett was better than nothing. ‘Friends,’ she agreed, trying out a smile.

They kept walking. ‘So about this maths tutoring?’ he asked.

‘You don’t have to do it. Who wants to spend their summer doing maths?’

‘Someone who loves maths?’

‘Oh yeah, I forgot how strange you are. Mum said she’d pay you.’

‘She doesn’t have to. I’d do anything for you, Luna, you have to know that.’

Luna didn’t know how to answer that. She suspected that she should say something back, like how she would do anything for Emmett too, but she didn’t know how. It was so hard, wanting the things that she wanted.

Emmett too seemed to retreat into his own head. As if he’d said too much and now there was no way forward.

‘I’d rather have you than some dusty old man,’ Luna tried, making light of things as she often did to help Emmett.

‘Why is your hypothetical maths tutor dusty?’

‘It’s just a saying.’

Emmett nodded. It looked like Luna had a maths tutor. At least she’d stopped crying.

He took a breath and looked at Luna. ‘Best summer ever?’ He held up his little finger.

Luna smiled, lighter already. ‘Best summer ever.’