Page 39 of The Edge of Always

At this, their mum looked set to pass out. Luna wasn’t exactly sure that Mae was helping her cause. Once again, she had this weird sense that she wasn’t directing her own life. As if it were a ship and there was someone else at the helm.

‘Plus, Emmett said he’d help her. He’s like a maths genius or something.’

Emmett hadn’t said he’d help Luna; he’d barely spoken to her or looked her way yesterday, except to frown. Luna wondered if this was some deviation from the Man Plan that Mae was plotting.

Their mum’s lips pressed into a thin line, evidently torn between her obvious dislike of Emmett and the fact that he might help Luna to avoid the dreaded U in Maths.

‘Well, that’s very kind.’

‘Yeah, he was really upset that Luna didn’t tell him she was struggling. He said unequivocally that if she’d called him, she would have passed her mock. You should get Emmett to mentor her – he could do with the money.’

Mae was unhinged. There, Luna had thought it.

‘Well, I’m not – I’ve found some nice men. All retired.’

‘They probably won’t know what the syllabus is now, then. Emmett scored top of his year – he got full marks.’

It wasn’t the best feeling, Luna thought. Standing there watching Mum and Mae argue over who should make her less bad at maths.

‘Well, I—’

‘We’ll ask him today and circle back to this later.’ Mae made a circling motion with her finger. ‘See you guys later, have fun.’

Luna had barely said a word, but Mae was pulling her out the door.

It was a bright, dry day. It hardly ever rained in Northumberland. It wasn’t just some warped or wishful thinking on Luna’s part either – it was the truth. Northumberland was part of the country that got the most hours of sunshine. It was another thing she’d picked up in Geography, a subject she wasn’t exactly excelling in, but at least she wasn’t flunking it either.

Free from the cottage, the girls laughed and ran towards The Edge. They always ran, though neither of them could properly say why – it’s just what they did. Mae had a carrier bag with their towels and a bottle of water, and Luna had some pencils and her notebook in her rucksack. The darkness of the morning was long gone by the time they saw Emmett, Zadie and Ahmed waiting between the caravans. It looked to Luna as if they were having a serious discussion, with their heads bent close together. But as Mae shouted, ‘We’re here!’ Zadie turned towards them and waved while Emmett refused to look their way.

‘We brought no food, though. There’s nothing edible in the whole cottage. Mum made us have courgetti for dinner last night. It’s like spaghetti but made out of courgette.’ Mae made a show of pretending to stick two fingers down her throat and failed to mention the Monster Munch they’d eaten in her bed later on. The whole room had still smelled of pickled onions when they left it this morning.

‘It’s a good job that we have plenty then, isn’t it?’ Zadie tapped her rucksack. Zadie always had sweets. Her mum and dad ran a corner shop.

‘Let’s go, people,’ Ahmed said loudly. Emmett shushed him.

‘Sorry. Mum’s not feeling well,’ he said, looking over his shoulder towards his caravan. The cardboard boxes they used as curtains were pushed tight against the window. There were dark shadows under Emmett’s eyes. The skin there looked like tissue paper, so fragile. And not quite black, not quite purple, but somewhere in between.

‘I’m sorry, Emmett,’ Luna said, her voice small. She meant that she was sorry for everything this year, though she didn’t say that. It sometimes felt impossible to say the things that she meant.

Emmett just shrugged. ‘Cadence can’t make it either. It’s just us.’

‘Well.’ Mae slapped her thigh. ‘What a beautiful day this is turning out to be. Emmett, good man, we have a proposition for you. But for now, shall we get going?’

Ahmed held out his arm for Zadie to link, but she held hands with Mae instead, and they set off. There was a coastal path, the dunes about three miles north.

Luna and Emmett were left to bring up the rear. They walked in silence at first, and the only thing for Luna to focus on was how awful and sticky things were between them.

It was the first time she’d dared to get a good look at him, since she hadn’t wanted Cadence to notice that she was obsessed with him. She just really wanted to do something to relieve the ache that lived permanently in the pit of her stomach. And the person she wanted to relieve it with was Emmett.

This year, she had a much better idea of what that might entail. A couple of months ago, she and Mae had been at a sleepover when their friend had produced her dad’s entire collection of porn. Mae had taken notes with a Bic pen and sheet of A4 paper. Luna had been horrified. There was a lot of grunting. But she’d been sort of intrigued, too. Mae was right. They really were disgusting little critters.

None of these were helpful things to be thinking about as she walked alongside her friend. Especially not since Emmett was finally taller than her this year. His hair was slightly longer, the curls more defined. He was pale too, and hairier. If nothing else, it was good to realise that the hairiness wasn’t just affecting Luna.

Luna should say something. But what? Something sparky.

‘It’s a nice day,’ she tried eventually, feeling about as sparky as a sliver of seaweed.

He didn’t answer. Emmett got like this sometimes. Dark and sullen. This time, though, Luna knew it was directed at her. ‘What’s this about a proposition?’ he asked finally. He sounded exhausted, Luna thought.