Page 97 of The Next Chapter

Why is my mouth so wide open?

‘Look!’ he calls.

I open my eyes, thinking that whatever I look at might be the final thing that I see and I’m… well, I’m blown away.

The loch is there in the distance, stretching out to the ocean. Everything is so small down there, so insignificant.

I can’t cry. My eyes are too dry.

I see Noah and his diver in front of us. He actually waves. Lunatic.

There’s a massive tug on the harness and we’re flying upwards again.

I scream, but it’s carried away on the wind.

The parachute is up and it looks like all of Steve’s checks paid off.

I find the bit with the parachute up much more genteel. Giant wedgie aside, it’s civilized, almost. Why we left it so long to get it out, I’ll never know. I hang like a ragdoll off Steve and wonder why my cheeks are so wet when my mouth is so very, very dry.

I’m happy to report that I manage an excellent landing in the castle grounds. Steve taught me well. He tells me that it’s one of his best landings this week, in fact.

When I’m detached from Steve, I fall to my hands and knees. Lovely grass. I’ll never abandon you again.

‘That was amazing,’ I hear Noah call behind me. I’m still stroking the grass.

‘It was… something.’ Like a religious experience, almost. I think that maybe I’m being dramatic, but I did just throw myself out of a plane.

‘Do you want to head down to the beach, or we could go look around the castle, when you’re, er, done,’ Noah says. I desist from stroking the grass, sit back on my heels. My legs are still shaking.

‘Let’s go to the beach, that would be lovely.’

With some effort, I stand up. We say our final farewell to the Skye from the Sky team and turn away from the castle, heading towards the shore of the loch.

I expected to feel, I don’t know, drained after the skydive. But instead, everything feels heightened. Like I’m looking at the world in high definition.

‘It’s really beautiful here.’ I sit down (or rather my legs give out) on a small mound of sand close to the shore. The perimeter of the loch stretches out on all sides around us.

It’s all so big. That’s what I thought at the top of the mountain, from the infinity pool, from the sky. Everything on Skye makes it impossible not to feel inconsequential. It makes me think, who cares what rubbish you have going on, look how big the world is?

‘It is.’ We sit and take it all in until the afternoon sun gets hazy, then venture down the cliff and along the beach.

Neither of us talk much. It’s like we shared something, jumping out of that plane. I don’t even think about what the skydive did to my hair. Chances are, all the Frizzease in the world couldn’t save me now, but I’m not thinking about that as I kick my sandals off and walk in the water so that the waves lap at my ankles. Noah holds my hand, the one not carrying my shoes, that is, and for the first time I truly let myself think about how nice it would be, to have more of this. Not just with Noah, but with Lola too. What it might be like to make space for her in some capacity in my life.

The thought of telling her who I am, of having her reject me again, fills me with dread. But maybe I could keep pretending and she need never know.

Maybe Noah will take that job, the one that means he could be around more.

‘You’re crushing my hand.’ Noah laughs.

I relax my iron grip.

‘Sorry.’

Noah tugs me to face him, then he’s looking down at me intently and his features seem softer around the edges somehow. I’m sure we’re about to kiss. We’re on a beach and the sun is starting to set – it’s the perfect backdrop to some gold star kissing. Except he doesn’t kiss me, he hugs me. I bury my head in his shoulder, breathe him in and hug him back as if my life depends on it, as if hugging him tight enough will be the thing to keep him here.

When we break apart, he’s frowning.

‘Is everything okay?’ I ask him as we turn and start to walk back.