Page 10 of The Next Chapter

‘That’s what I’ve heard.’

‘Okay, I’m going in.’

‘Good for you.’

There really is nothing left for me to say after that.

If I don’t do this now, I might never do it. I might never know.

I lift the flap of the envelope and shiver as I pull the letter out from inside it. There’s another piece of paper, but I ignore that for now, too desperate to hear from Dad again.

I unfold it. His writing is instantly recognisable. Slanty and with the slight dip of someone who was left-handed.

Now that it’s there, I can’t believe I’ve left it this long to read it. My eyes start scanning before I can properly take in what they’re reading.

Lily,

I imagine it’s taken you a while to get to this. However long it’s been, I hope you’re doing okay. I hope you’re not lonely.

I know you have Seb (I’m betting he’s there, hi Seb), but hopefully you’ve broken up with Colin, you can do better (if he’s there too, sorry Colin). And I know you have a lot of friends, but they’re not the same as family.

That’s why you need to go and find her. Find Lola.

She called once. Just after Mum died. I think legally she wasn’t allowed to get in touch until you were eighteen and I don’t know how she got our home phone number, but she did.

I’m so sorry that I never told you, Lily. She asked if she could speak to you and I was so mad at everything, at the fact that she was alive when your mum wasn’t, I called her a bunch of stuff I shouldn’t have done. I told her that you never wanted to hear from her and that she had to respect that and put the phone down. I told her that you hated her. I was terrified of losing you. I’m a coward for telling you this now, I know.

When I got the diagnosis and once I’d Googled it (stage four pancreatic cancer makes for miserable reading), I knew you’d need someone after. I hired a private investigator to look for Lola.

Anyway, I’ve enclosed their report.

I hope you’ll consider finding her, Lily.

If you do go to her, you’re going to find out some other truths I’m not proud of. I’m sorry about that, too. I hope you know that everything we did, it was because we loved you so much. You and your mum are the best thing that ever happened to me and I’m so proud of you.

Know that if I could have stayed, I would have done.

Love always, Dad

* * *

My face is wet by the time I read Dad’s letter again. And again. Even Seb produces a tear when I read it out loud.

He gets up and marches to the kitchen, announcing, ‘We need more wine.’

For once, I don’t have the energy to worry about his poor liver. While he’s gone, I unfold the second sheet of paper from the envelope. I had no idea that Dad had hired a private investigator, but now, I’m reading their report.

DALTON AND SONS PRIVATE INVESTIGATORS

Bronx, NY, United States

Case number: 315-426

Account: **7634

Date: 14th May 2022

Status: FINAL REPORT