Page 83 of The Next Chapter

He nods. ‘They were pretty big back in the day. Lola doesn’t advertise it, but most folk around here know.’

‘I just don’t get how she could go from being in a super famous mega band to here, living on her own like she does. It doesn’t make sense.’

Noah must be wondering why the hell I care. I should call Seb and talk to him about this sort of thing.

‘Lola told me once that something went wrong, when she was in the band. She liked the music, she’s a brilliant singer when she does it. And with her guitar too but, I don’t know, something happened. She never told me what. I always got the impression she was running away, though. I think that’s why she didn’t call the police on me, because she got what it was like to need to escape. Or that’s been my take on it all these years.’

Is it me? I think. Was I the thing that went wrong? Or was it something else, not related to me at all?

I slump back against the couch.

God, I can’t dump this on Noah.

‘Sorry,’ I tell him, ‘I don’t know why I’m letting Lola’s story affect me.’ It’s a barefaced lie. Another one. And it doesn’t make me feel good about myself.

Noah moves closer to me; I can feel the heat from his body across my side. He brushes a couple of strands of escapee fringe off my forehead. It’s such a sweet move, my eyes fill with tears. He must think that I’m unhinged. I am unhinged.

‘Lola’s had a really hard life,’ he tells me. ‘It’s normal to feel something about it.’

It’s so far away from what I’m feeling, but I appreciate the fact that he’s giving me an out. I also appreciate that he’s basically – there’s no other word for it – cuddling me right now. I’ve wrapped an arm across his stomach and my head is on his chest, I can feel his heartbeat under my ear. It’s steady and sure and it’s worrying, because I can’t have this with Noah.

But it feels like exactly what I need.

Chapter Fourteen

‘Tell me everything about you and Noah, I want all the details. Actually, not all the details… just the sexy ones.’

‘Shhh.’ I look around wildly, double checking that Noah isn’t around to hear Seb ask for the details of our non-existent sex life. Noah must already think that me and Seb are weirdly close for siblings, even if he’s never said anything about it.

I’m sat on the patio table in front of the cottage for a Zoom call with Seb, nominally for a work meeting, but when Seb shared the agenda, point one was ‘gossip – specifically, getting dicked down by Noah’.

‘I’ve already told you everything. Several times now. It was only that one-night, and this is being recorded!’

‘You know that. But you’re the only person who reads the transcripts,’ he counters.

‘I want to make sure that I don’t forget anything.’

‘Yes, that would be the stuff of the world ending right there, if you forgot one tiny little thing.’

I shuffle around in my seat, because that’s how uncomfortable the thought of forgetting something makes me.

‘How are things your end?’ I ask. ‘Any new business?’

Seb shrugs. ‘A couple of leads, maybe, but I’m just wrapping up the Templeman memoirs. Kitty emailed to say that Lola has made it clear that she wants to sell this thing to the highest bidder. Maybe Phil’s stomach ulcer will finally settle down. And Clementine had a TikTok that went semi-viral, so she’s been in a good mood.’

‘The morning routine one she did?’ I say, ignoring the bit about Lola selling the memoirs to the highest bidder. ‘I saw that, one of her best, I thought. I can’t believe she gets up at 4am every day for Pilates and affirmations, though.’

‘She doesn’t,’ Seb answers. ‘It’s all made up. Most days she doesn’t even get to the office for nine. She’s driving me mad.’ Seb rubs at his temples, same as he always does when Clementine is mentioned.

I laugh, but looking at Seb on the other end of the call, I’m hit by such an intense bout of homesickness, it makes my head spin. I miss them all. I’ve been away for three weeks and I miss my life in Manchester. I miss my routine and always knowing what’s happening. I miss not worrying whether the grass is full of killer ants every time I sit down. I have no idea how Noah does this for his whole life.

‘Your great-granny would be proud, you know?’

On the outside, Seb is as warm as a slab of concrete, but I know that the reason he cares so much about Your Life is because of people like his great-granny. Deep (deep) down, he’s like a marshmallow.

‘Thank you for saying so, sister dearest.’

‘Can you help me FaceTime Elton again later?’ I ask.