Page 71 of The Next Chapter

Chapter Eleven

To Do:

Google one-night stand etiquette

Three-pronged plan to save hotel

Lola memoirs chapter two

Cover design for Mr Vandergilden – carcass or guns?

Get on top of emails

‘Why are you calling me? You know I cherish my alone time in the morning.’ Seb’s voice down the phone is harsh.

‘Shhh, you’re so loud, you’re going to wake him up,’ I angry whisper, looking back at the bedroom door that I’d pulled closed but not shut properly.

I’d woken up very naked, an equally naked Noah next to me on the bed.

‘Wake him… oh my god, Lily, you did jump him!’ Seb cackles down the phone and I have to put my hand over it to muffle him.

‘Are you done?’ I ask when his laugh finally tails off to a gentle chuckle.

‘I think so,’ he answers. ‘But if Noah is in your bed, I have to say I’m impressed. I didn’t think you had it in you. But why the fuck are you talking to me? Get back in there,’ he orders.

‘It’s not as simple as that.’ I pull my summer dressing gown tight around me. It doesn’t exactly feel like the protector of my virtue I might need it to be. ‘You know I’ve never done this before. What’s the etiquette? Do I make him a coffee? Do I shake his hand and bid him farewell?’

Seb starts to laugh again. ‘Please do that last one. Film it for me, would you?’

‘You are no help. How do I get rid of him?’

I start to pace.

‘Get rid of him? Was it bad?’

‘No, not bad. Amazing, actually,’ I tell him. ‘Plus, before, I agreed to help him save the hotel. We have a three-pronged plan!’ I’m whispering hysterically.

‘Wow, your saviour complex knows no bounds. Impressive. I’d slow clap you, for the sex, not the saviour thing, if I wasn’t holding my phone. Good for you, my short-legged friend. I told you a good orgasm would sort you out.’

I make a non-committal hum. It really was a good orgasm. No, I can’t let my orgasm distract me.

‘Seb, there is no future between me and him. None at all. He’s going to fucking Italy in September. You know where I’m going? Salford. Plus, there are all the lies I’m telling and the fact that I’ve given him the total wrong impression of me,’ I tell Seb. ‘He thinks I’m all wild and adventurous. Especially now.’

‘Please tell me you got the handcuffs out?’

‘What?! No, of course I didn’t even pack them. I was just… freakier than usual. I kind of lost it a bit.’

A completely X-rated still from last night presents itself clear as day in my mind’s eye. Not helpful.

‘What do I do?!’

Seb thinks for a minute. ‘Look, if you don’t want to do it again, you don’t have to, you know that, right?’

‘I know, I just… I thought I’d get it out of my system. But Seb, the people in books, they’re lying, that is not reality. It makes you want to do it more!’

It takes several minutes for the laughing to stop.

‘Get it out of her system,’ he finally finishes. ‘Look, are we done here? I can go back to bed for half an hour. Let’s just say I’ve unearthed some of my old pictures of Ashton and you’re not the only one who had a long night.’