Page 47 of The Next Chapter

Mum and Dad used to say that it was okay to be angry about the whole adopted thing. I always tried not to be angry, though. Because it wouldn’t have felt fair, to be angry that I got a life with them. So as a rule, I’m the opposite of angry. I’m no trouble ever. I smile even when I don’t feel like smiling.

And deep down I’m worried that this time with Lola might change that. I already feel like my control is slipping. It’s the wildness of it here on Skye, it’s taking me apart piece by piece.

I shiver, goose bumps working their way along my arm.

‘I have always wondered why she left the band. It never made any sense why she left six months after she had me if it wasn’t for me,’ I say.

Seb stays quiet.

‘I’m going to do it,’ I tell Seb.

‘For what it’s worth, I think you’re making the right call.’

‘Thanks, I hope so. Now, I really need some brie.’

Chapter Eight

To Do:

Start Lola memoirs

Call Mr Cains

Stop lying so much

Food shopping (vegetables!!!)

Message all WhatsApp groups

Get on top of emails

This seemed like a much better idea yesterday.

‘You’re going to be brilliant.’

I think I’m going to be sick.

Seb is in his car; the engine is running and the roof is down. We’re saying goodbye. But also, he’s not driving off because I’m clutching the door through the open window. I’m not exactly sure what my strategy is. Force him to stay with my brute strength. That seems ridiculous, I could hardly lift a kayak paddle.

‘It feels like you’re abandoning me.’

‘One abandonment and you think everyone’s at it.’ Behind his (very reflective) sunglasses, I’m certain that he’s rolling his eyes. I look around to check that no one has heard the abandonment thing, but the only sign of life is the bald chicken.

Seb puts a hand over mine.

‘You can do this.’

‘I really can’t.’

‘You can.’

‘Do you think?’

‘I know. You’ve been employee of the year for over a decade.’

‘Yeah, but our other employees are Clementine and Phil.’ Still, I won’t lie, I do love the certificate Seb prints for me every year. ‘Argh, I’m going to do it.’

‘That’s the spirit. Now let go of the car before you change your mind again.’