Page 127 of The Next Chapter

‘I wouldn’t want you to not travel, it’s what you love.’

Noah looks at me.

‘There are things I think I could love more. All this time, I think I just needed a reason to come back.’

It’s me. He means me. I’m the thing that he thinks he could love more.

‘We can figure it out together,’ I say with determination. ‘I think that, if you wanted it, I could come sometimes. So long as I see the itinerary ahead of time, of course.’

‘Of course,’ he agrees.

And then he’s holding me close again. I can feel the rhythm of his heart beneath my ear.

I had absolutely thought that this would end with us both naked. I’d hoped that might be the case, to be completely honest. But actually, burrowed under the duvet with Noah, watching the rain splatter against the doors of the cottage and feeling optimistic about the future for once, well, it’s just perfect.

* * *

The next morning, (okay, it’s closer to midday) there’s a tapping at the door to the cottage.

I yawn and Noah shifts in the bed next to me. I don’t want to wake up. I’m still tired from the sleepless nights I’d spent with Elton trying to slowly murder me in my sleep.

The knocking gets more insistent, so I pull myself out of bed, wrapping my dressing gown around me. I think I know who this will be.

Harper.

‘Harper.’ I smile at her. ‘You look so much better.’ At the edge of the garden, I can see Harper’s foster dad watching us.

‘You came back,’ she says, looking at me like I might be a puzzle in need of figuring out.

I think for a second. ‘I did. Do you want to go for a walk?’ I look out beyond her to the gardens. It’s not raining, but it’s not boiling either. The air is fresh and the grass looks impossibly greener.

‘You aren’t dressed.’

It’s not a no.

‘Give me one minute.’

I hurry back to the bedroom, rifling through my case.

‘I’m going for a walk with Harper,’ I tell the back of Noah’s head.

‘Okay.’ He twists around to look at me and I can’t help myself. I lean down and kiss him goodbye, feeling unbelievably smug at the fact that I can do that now.

‘Come on,’ I say to Harper, stepping out into the garden, closing the doors behind me.

‘I’ve got her,’ I call to her foster dad. ‘I won’t let her out of my sight.’ He nods and waves, his shoulders hunched and tired.

Harper won’t meet my eyes.

‘Let’s go down to the loch,’ I tell her, thinking that we’d better steer clear of the forest.

Harper follows a pace or so behind me and I wonder if she’s just here to punish me for going. That she’s going to subject us both to a long, stony silence. But then I’m the adult here, I need to go to her.

We reach the loch. It’s deserted, now that the summer is technically over. There’s a low mist rising off the water, ethereal and mildly spooky.

I sit at the edge of the dock. Harper sits next to me, swinging her feet off the edge.

‘I’m sorry I left, Harper. I shouldn’t have gone like that, without saying goodbye.’