Page 114 of The Next Chapter

‘Thank you, for coming to get me.’ I sniff.

‘You’re leaving me a whole house when you die, it’s the least I can do.’

‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’ I open the car door.

‘Tomorrow?’ he asks.

‘For work.’

That makes him laugh at least.

‘Lily, you just sobbed and puked for a day and a half straight. Quite frankly, I didn’t realize it was possible for someone to cry for so bloody long. You really think you’ll be in a fit state to come to work tomorrow?’

I do another sad little sniff. My head is aching; quite possibly I’ve cried myself into a state of dehydration. I can’t even settle on what exactly I’m crying about. Lola and everything she went through, Lola and her leaving me, Noah, Mum and Dad – it’s all just one giant ball of messy emotion in my brain.

‘You should take some time,’ Seb finishes.

‘No!’ I might be completely confused about everything that’s happened, but if there’s one thing that I’m absolutely sure of, it’s that the best thing I can do is to get back to normal.

Get back to my nice, normal, ordered life here. Hopefully, in time (and with possibly no small amount of therapy) what happened on Skye this summer will come to feel like a fairly potent fever dream. The sort of story I recount when I’m in my nineties and people tap my hand in a way that suggests they don’t quite believe me.

‘I don’t want to take some time.’ I think of my mound of washing. ‘Or at least not much time. I want to dive straight back into it. I have a meeting with Mr Vandergilden on Wednesday, I can’t miss that.’

‘Well, that’s bound to make you feel better.’

‘I’ll see you Wednesday,’ I say firmly.

Seb rolls his eyes before getting out to help me unload the boot. I really can’t ever let him die; I don’t know what I’d do without him.

‘Call me tomorrow if you need me?’ he asks. I’m stood in the doorway, the detritus from Skye piled around my feet.

‘I will, thank you. I think I’ll sleep for a week after this.’

Seb nods. ‘We can talk on Wednesday, but only if you’re up to it. Please tell me you’ll call in if you aren’t.’

‘I will,’ I lie. ‘I’m sure I’ll be fine.’

He narrows his eyes at me. ‘Rest up, Lily. Call if you need me.’

I must be giving off a seriously unhinged aura. I’m not sure Seb has ever been so consistently nice to me. Well, except for when Dad died that is.

‘I will do. See you later.’

I shut the door and stand in the dark hallway on my own. I’m so bone tired by everything I trudge straight up the stairs, where I find Elton sprawled on my bed. I don’t have the energy to worry that to the naked eye he looks to have gained weight. Or about the fact that he’s squarely on my pillow, the only place in the house he’s not meant to sleep.

Maybe he wanted to feel close to me while I was gone.

The thought of Elton missing me sets me off again. Seb’s right, how can it be possible for a person to cry this much?

Tomorrow.

Tomorrow I’ll get everything sorted out in my head. For now, I just lay down, careful not to disturb Elton, and fall into a fitful, disturbed sleep.

* * *

I wake with a pounding headache and a mouthful of cat fur.

Elton had been reluctant to share what I now presume to be his pillow. I’d woken several times to him, intentionally or not, suffocating me with his girth. Now he’s flopping his tail with force over my face.