Page 60 of No Hope of Rescue

Taking a deep breath, she spreads her manicured fingers on the tabletop as if giving a presentation. “I don’t mean that. When that firefighter was killed and Devon Russo left, all I could think about was, what if that had been you? I was thrilled when you decided to quit being a smokejumper. I think that was one of the best nights of my life. We’d been dating for six months. And you came to me and you said you were gonna give it up. And I thought, Oh. My. God. He’s doing this for me.”

I shake my head, and then she tugs on my hand. “Because I kept telling you how worried I was every time you’d go out on a call.”

This catches me off guard. There’s a vague recollection that she had claimed she was worried about me.

“And then you went right into this—this search and rescue stuff.” She uses both hands and gestures toward a gear pile in the corner of the entrance hall. “The more I thought about it, you know, I realized that’s not what I wanted to do with my life. I want three kids. I want a nice home. I want to be able to take a nice vacation with my husband and enjoy my time with him.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I’m not doing this right.” She stops and looks at me. “I don’t want to sit around always worrying that my husband may not come home. I just didn’t think I could bear it.”

I shrug. “People die in car accidents.”

“I know myself, Brock. You? You can handle anything. Me? It was too stressful. I’d just turn into a bitch. I’d resent you. The relationship would go sour, and it would all be my fault.” She pauses. “And I can’t have things like that be my fault.”

I don’t know what to say.

“I care about you. It’s not like I just stopped loving you when I met Derrick. And, for the record, I didn’t know he was rich. I didn’t know he had money.”

The glitter of tears in her eyes is real, but there’s something else, too, and I know I’m right. There’s a small piece of her thrilled by Derrick and this whole scenario.

Money talks. Money is power. Money swept her away, though she’ll never admit it.

And that’s okay. It doesn’t make her a bad person.

She reaches into her coat pocket and removes the small ring box before setting it squarely on the table.

“Hey”—and I try to make my voice soft—“melt it. Throw it into the sea. It’s up to you.”

“I was genuinely hoping this would go better.” Her bottom lip trembles.

“It’s going just fine. I don’t know what else to tell you. I wish you a good life.” I do. That part is true, so I follow up with something else I know is true: “I can’t imagine Derrick not giving you the best life possible.”

My next move is a clear mistake. I lay a hand on her shoulder, and she rubs her cheek against my index finger. “There’s a part of me that still really misses you.”

I drop my hand quickly.

She goes on. “You know, it was hard for me too.”

All of this is true, and none of it’s coming from a malicious place.

“Do you think I’m the kind of person that would marry someone for money?”

Crystal is many things: beautiful, caring, sweet, funny, and it is for those things I was attracted to her. But inside, a small truth festers. It’s worming its way through my heart.

She is all those things, but she is also someone who would leave because of money. That’s her. And so, she’s not for me.

“No,” I say. It’s probably the only time I’ve lied to her. Then I tell her a truth: “You need to go, though.”

“Let me stay and help. I love Codie.”

“It’s not safe, Crystal. Trust me.”

The door opens as and Jace and Ryan tumble in, see Crystal, and freeze in mid-joust.

“Hey,” Ryan says.

Jace waves. I swear Jace has had a crush on her for three years.