Page 59 of No Hope of Rescue

But it was when Riley lay beside me in the guts of that airplane, in the middle of a howling storm, that those walls split apart. She never gave up on me. Risked her life to find me. And when I finally allowed myself to give to her last night, I found myself looking at a future horizon line I almost didn’t recognize. There were no walls in the way.

When I lay in bed holding her, I realized the horizon, what lies ahead, was the future.

That’s why when I open the door and there’s Crystal standing on the stoop, holding a bag of groceries, I expect the rush of those walls coming up. Or crashing down. I’m not sure of the physics—just the outcome.

“What are you doing here?”

“I heard what happened. Is Codie okay?” she says, starting to brush by me.

I block Crystal with my arm and nod toward my house. I turn to Riley, make eye contact, and say, “Back in a minute.”

I hope she hears the promise in my voice. I don’t want to hurt her, but I don’t want Crystal near her. We step out and I consciously make an effort not to look at Riley again.

“What’s the big deal?” Crystal says as I take her arm and lead her back to my place.

“She’s fine. She’s resting now, but she will be fine.”

“And Riley?”

“Great,” I say grimly and open the front door.

“And who was that other hunky guy?”

“Nobody.”

She says nothing until I open my front door and shrug my coat off in the kitchen. I don’t invite her to stay, and she keeps hers on.

“Why are you here? I thought you were in Salt Lake.”

“My mom had a procedure, so I flew in. She’s fine now. But I was talking to Erin at the hospital, and she told me what happened to Codie. Do they know who took her? I mean, was she really kidnapped?”

I shove my hands into my back pockets. “You need to go.”

She sets the groceries on the table. “Brock, I’m not proud of how I handled . . . us. I also came to give you back the ring.”

I shake my head. Still no walls rising. No rush. Just the reality of: “I gave it you.”

“I’m not keeping it.”

I smile and wave a hand. “Fine. Give it away.”

“You need the money. You need the money for your business. For Weston Search and Rescue.”

Hearing those words fall from her lips is painful. I hardly ever refer to it by name. I only use the masthead in bids. “You really shouldn’t be here.”

“I know I hurt you—”

“I get it.” Then words come easily, without shame and without a demand for sympathy. It’s just the truth. “I wasn’t the one for you, Crystal. It’s fine. Plus, I’m sure Derrick can provide for you in a way you’re accustomed far better than me. No harm.”

Her eyes are suddenly bright with tears. God dammit.

“That’s what you think of me? That’s what you think of me after all this time? That I just wanted to marry some rich guy? Look,” she says, “I admit I wanted something a little more stable, but I was willing to wait for that stability. I don’t think—” She bites her lip. “I just don’t think you can give me what I want and need.” She waves at the bag on the table. “There’s some of that chocolate milk in there she likes. And shortbread and dumplings from that place in Morrison. Should go in the fridge.”

“Thanks. Codie will love it.”

“I just couldn’t keep waiting for you.” She wipes a tear.

Closing the refrigerator door comes with a question. But I’m more confused than angry. “Waiting? I was right here. All the time. Every day. I always showed up.”