Page 93 of Love Again

Keller absolutely fawns over Luke in a way that makes me laugh sometimes. Everyone comes to visit once, that’s all he’ll allow, but he can’t control his brother. Sneaking in homemade soup, fancy sandwiches, and Kombucha “for healthy gut bacteria,” his brotherly antics are a tribute to a real soft spot. Thursday, he brings over an envelope for Luke to open. It’s Luke’s official fire investigator certificate. Keller had to have pulled some strings to get this fast-tracked.

After he leaves, I sit on the edge of Luke’s bed. He still has an IV taped to the crook of his left arm. For the first time in a long time, he looks rested, though.

“It’s the drugs.” He gives me a sloppy kiss. “Get into bed with me.” He says it with such innocence, even I can’t make a joke out of it. I lie next to him, watching two nurses come and go, each after a double take.

“Your brother isn’t such a bad guy,” I say, lifting the certificate from Luke’s fingers. It slips easily from his hand, and I set it on the hospital tray.

“He’s a good guy. I love him.”

“Well, I’m warming up to him. I still can’t forgive him for kicking me off the team, but I’m warming up.”

Luke adjusts his shoulder so that my head tips toward his face. “I’m gonna tell youasecret,” he says.

“Oh, please don’t.”

“Why? It’s a good one.”

“Because usually the person telling the secret isn’t supposed to tell it.”

“Well, that’s definitely true in this case.” He pauses, closing his eyes as if trying to remember something. “But I know why he kicked you off the team.”

I don’t quite know what to say. This isn’t how I expected the conversation to go. “It was so long ago. I don’t really care anymore. It’s fine.”

Luke, still groggy, runs a hand through his hair and lands another dopey kiss on the top of my head. “Liar. You deserve to know. You want to know. Here’s the deal. He had to kick you off.”

Despite the tubes and IVs and machines blipping and bleeping, I need to set the record straight. “No, he didn’t.”

Luke, his eyes still closed, mumbles, “Well, you’re probably right about that too. He can be a chickenshit sometimes.”

“What do you mean?”

Luke sighs. “He thought the school board was on to him and that he was going to get fired. It was his only source of income, and he . . . thought the teachers knew and that the kids on the team would out him. So he kicked you off.”

He must be delirious. I feel his forehead again, but it’s cool. “What are you talking about?”

“My brother’s gay and so far in the closet that he can’t even find the doorknob.”

I lie quietly for a long time, not knowing what to say. The revelation isn’t that Keller’s gay. It’s the reality that axing me was about self-preservation. He had to kick me off the team to show everyone what a “man” he was. I had so misjudged him, so misunderstood the situation. This isn’t an easy out for him, and I got screwed, but at least I understand.

“Luke, I don’t think that was your story to tell,” I start to say. But he’s already asleep. I lean over and kiss him on the cheek and stroke a lock of sandy-brown hair from his forehead. “But thank you,” I whisper in his ear.

΅

Luckily for me, Keller is on duty three days later when Mid-Coast Hospital releases Luke. When I step into his hospital room, he’s fully dressed, shaved, and smiling, looking so much better, I have to laugh.

At home again, Chloe delivers a gorgeous meal of Faroe Islands’ salmon with garlic and lemon, a basil and beet risotto, fresh asparagus with garlicy butter, and lavender and poppyseed ice-cream she made earlier. With all the reconstruction on the east side of The Inn, I think she’s stress-cooking.

Luke touches my arm during dinner and kisses me before I sit down. The food is delicious, and we both decide we’ve eaten too much.

“It’s lucky we have sibs who know how to cook so well.”

“Well, I have a secret to share,” I say, and then I tell him of the Chloe-Keller school of cooking.

“Are you kidding me?”

“No. They get together once or twice a week. It’s been going on for months.”

“I should tell him I want a salmon dinner. I bet he shows up with the same menu.”