Page 51 of Letting Go

"I'm telling you, Chloe, you need to be honest with me. Completely honest and I don't care how guilty or how vulnerable you feel, you need to tell the truth. All of it. We need to have intel on this guy."

He exhales a long shaky breath and that's when I realize his anger isn't with me—it's about what could happen to me. Right now, he has to stand there and look impervious.

I start with, "It's embarrassing," and don't get any further.

"Nobody cares, Chloe." He kneels and takes my hand. It’s cold and clammy and I'm afraid he's just going to let go but he opens my curled fingers and interlocks his with mine. He just keeps talking.

"His brother is Raymond Clifton, and they're both from New Orleans, not from England so that's a bullshit accent. Jackson's doing a whole write up now of the family. My job is to protect you, Chloe. It's my only job right now and to do that I have to know what this guy did to you."

"You'll never understand him." My voice is small and I try to let go of his hand but he won’t let me.

"You need to let go of whatever is holding you back," he whispers. "I need to know the what, not the why. We can figure that part out later."

I look into his face. There is fear there—something Bryce doesn’t know how to hide because I don’t think he's had to face it all that often, or even all that well. Suddenly I get the feeling he knows exactly why Reed is after me.

My head starts to hurt and there's a drilling behind my eyes. "I just had this conversation this evening with my sisters and Travis. I explained why I left, I explained why I couldn't take care of them. I explained how awful it feels now to be back—"

"—I told you. I don't want the whys. I want the what. What happened to you there?"

I shake my head.

"Chloe. Look at me.

When I raise my eyes, I see his jaw clench. "I need to understand how this guy works. What he's capable of. To do that, I have to know what happened to you at Everlast."

I hold my breath. I don't want to share this story with anyone. I don't want him to know this part of me, this awful part of me, but I refuse to cry and the only way to avoid a breakdown like in the car is to lean on anger.

I drop his hands. "I don't see what this has to do with my safety."

He stands, hovers above me, his energy exploding, like he wants to hit something, a dresser, wall, table, but he just stands there, unmoving.

His voice resonates deep in my sternum. "I need to understand how this guy thinks. Finn is an excellent profiler. Do you want me to bring him here in the room or would you rather talk to me? Either way, this is happening."

The anger-ember is snuffed out almost as soon as it's lit. Finn?

"This mess, whatever it is, got Claire tailed. Finn's involved. They're involved." Sensing my wavering, he sits on the bed and puts a hand over mine.

The dawning realization that Claire could have been in danger because of me is almost suffocating.

Bryce squeezes my hand.

Where to start. How to start. No one gives you lessons in life about how to tell a story that illuminates the worst parts of yourself.

Bryce hands me the glass of water on my nightstand and I take a sip, remove my hand from his and point to the wooden chair by the window. "Can you sit there? I need to be able to see you."

"No," he says, reaching over and turning off the light. "Confessions are easier in the dark. I should know," he whispers and takes my hand again.

There's a small pause and then almost without effort the words start…

"It was the January after Mom and Dad died. There were originally four of us in the college house, but Michelle had left. She and Cheryl didn't get along at all, arguing about dishes, laundry, boyfriends. Typical roommate stuff. And this guy, this British guy shows up. And Tom was thrilled. Tom was Cheryl's boyfriend at the time and he was so happy to have another guy interview."

"And this is Reed Clifton."

"Well, he went by Reed Wilton."

"But there was something—I guess some people would say 'odd' about him. He had these riveting blue eyes, and this blond hair and he was from England with this austere British accent, and he just swept me off my feet."

There is no movement from Bryce, no indication if what I've said has any impact on him at all.