Page 17 of Letting Go

This is exactly what Finn feared. "You need to talk to me."

"I can't do that," she says, and she looks defiant, that you're not going to make me look I find incredibly sexy.

"Whatever trouble you're in, I'll help you figure it out."

"You can't help me with this," she says and then looks into my face, her eyes steady, resolute. "This is a problem of my own making." She shakes her head. "I just got a little weirded out by some kids. No one owns Rock Island and everyone's allowed to hike on it. I just got rattled."

"You need to trust your intuition. Don't second guess yourself. If you feel something's not right, get away. I say worry about whether it is the appropriate reaction later, when you're safe."

The incessant wind tugs and pulls at her hair and I just want to wrap my arms around her, run my fingers through that brown mass, lift her face to mine, press my lips to hers, and feel her body melt against mine. God, I want this girl.

"Thanks, it had nothing to do with them" she says, her voice stronger, and the color back in her face, "It's all good."

"It's not all good. You just said you think someone's following you."

"Aren’t you headed back to Portland today?"

She's changing the subject and I can’t let her. "Whatever trouble you are in, we are all here for each other."

"You don’t understand."

"Try me."

Her sigh is exhausted and her shoulders sag. "There's just this fear I have…"

"What?"

Her eyes, those crystal blue eyes hold mine in a lock down gaze that makes my groin ache. "That my past is going to take away my future."

I expect her to hug me, to wrap her arms around me for comfort, but all she does is drop her gaze and stare out at the sea. I want to touch her, hold her, wipe those small tears from her face, but it’s clear she doesn’t want this.

"Whatever you've done in your past, you need to forgive yourself."

A tear slips down one cheek.

"Finn knows you're in hiding."

This brings her stare back to me. "What?" She quickly wipes her cheek.

"He's a profiler, Chloe. You think he wouldn’t notice all your evasive tactics?"

"I'm not—"

"Don't. Don't lie."

The single sob is enough for me to take her in my arms. It's all the permission I need. We stand here and every second, I'm aware of the perfume of her hair, her weight against me, the warmth of her body.

When she pulls away, she wipes her face and glances at me with an apology. "Sorry. So sorry. I lost it there. I don’t know what's the matter with me."

You're scared as shit is what I want to say. But she needs to say it. She needs to own it.

"Hey," I say softly, "I have to leave this afternoon, but let's talk when I get back. Okay?"

She doesn't nod, doesn’t agree, but pulls me to her one last time.

The last place I want to be is in a car headed to Portland.

The forty-five-minute drive to Portland seems endless. Every muscle in my body is resisting as well. I want to be with Chloe. I feel like I was so close to pulling something out of her there on the sandy trail between the two buildings.