Page 63 of The Best Ex of My Life

Chapter 25

My room, while dated and a little on the small side, is clean and cosy and has the most amazing bed I’ve ever laid on, aside from my own. The thick white cotton sheets and perfectly plump pillows invite a good night’s sleep, but I don’t feel anywhere close to that as I lie awake listening to the sounds of the B&B and waiting for Elliot to get back from the bar.

Once I told everyone I was leaving, I didn’t wait around for Elliot to offer to join me. I wanted to get away from him. I thought I needed some space, but it turns out I was wrong. What I need is to talk to him, to understand what happened with Teddy. I want to talk to her, too, but guilt stops me from picking up the phone and calling her. I know I have to, but first I need to know more from Elliot. There’s not a chance I’ll sleep tonight before speaking to him, and after the abrupt way I left, I’m sure he’s not going straight to bed without trying to talk to me either.

So I’m not surprised when there’s a quiet knock on the door just after midnight. I get up automatically, pull down the oversized T-shirt I got free when joining the National Union of Teachers and open the door, my heart doing somersaults in my chest.

‘Oh.’ He swallows, and even though he’s the one who came to my door, he takes a step back.

‘I’m glad you came. We need to talk.’

‘Yeah, I, erm—’

‘Elliot?’

I see his problem. He tries to look at my face, but his eyes can’t help resting on where my T-shirt meets my thighs. I don’t remember it being this short. I pull down the material until it comes to rest at a much more respectable length. Unfortunately, doing so stretches out the letters N U T over my breasts, but at least it helps break the spell as he is able to meet my eyes for the first time and give me a sheepish smile.

I roll my eyes at him. ‘Smiling? Really? I’d have thought you’d have been turning up at my door utterly ashamed of yourself for letting me find out about Teddy like that.’

‘Sorry, you’re right.’ He coughs. ‘I’m with them too,’ he says, pointing at my breasts. ‘NUT. Good choice. How have you found them?’

‘Elliot, focus,’ I scold. ‘I’m guessing you’re not here at midnight to shoot the breeze about unions. What’s going on with you? I can’t believe you failed to mention you and Teddy aren’t together anymore. What happened?’

He takes a deep breath and walks across the room to sit on my bed. When he stops straightening my duvet and finally looks at me, I’m expecting it will all come flooding out, but all he says is, ‘It’s complicated.’

‘So complicated you couldn’t have mentioned it before you kissed me? Before you let me think I was the worst person in the world for letting that happen? Or did the break up come after the kiss? Is that why you ended it with her? What the hell is going on?’

He swallows. ‘I should have told you. Teddy and I decided that we weren’t going to let you know until after this weekend, in case, you know, it felt awkward between us or anything.’

At least he blushes while he says it.

‘Yeah, good job with that, El,’ I say, making my voice drip with sarcasm. ‘Now things aren’t awkward at all.’ I hide the relief that at least he’s saying the break up came before the kiss, that it wasn’t a reaction to what happened.

‘I know,’ he concedes. ‘I should have told you sooner.’

‘Yeah, you should have. The second this weekend began would have been the right time.’

‘You’re right,’ he says quietly.

‘I am.’

I’ve moved over to the window, and I look down at the streetlights below for a few seconds as I bring myself to ask the question that’s been playing on my mind since his announcement in the restaurant. ‘So now I do know, tell me, was it you breaking up with her or her with you?’

‘It was a joint decision.’

‘Right, and when did it happen?’

‘Tuesday night.’

That makes sense. Teddy normally never bails on our weekly Tuesday cocktail meet up, but this week she did. Now I know why. Teddy’s been texting this week, but we haven’t spoken, and I’m relieved again to hear it’s so recent, that I’ve haven’t been in the dark for longer than a few days.

‘I don’t get it. I thought everything was great between you both. You’ve not mentioned once that you were thinking about breaking up with her. And she’s not mentioned it once either, so I don’t get where this has come from.’

‘Has it ever occurred to you that maybe we don’t have to tell you every last thing about our relationship? Or we might not want to, given you know both of us so well? You might have put us together, but it doesn’t mean you have to be part of every fucking thing that happens, Lizzie.’

My lips part but nothing comes out, shock stopping my brain from working out what to say. I stare unblinkingly at him, and he stares unblinkingly at me, and something I can’t read sets in his expression. Something that almost looks like anger.

I could probably justify that anger, agree with him even, if it wasn’t for what happened on that boat. ‘I never said you had to tell me everything about your relationship, but when you go in to kiss me after just breaking up with Teddy, then, actually, yeah, you do need to tell me what’s going on. Have you any idea how awful I felt after it happened when I thought you were still together? You owed me the truth, El. If I’d have known—’