Page 58 of The Best Ex of My Life

We’re having such a good time, and I’m so busy thinking about how much good has come out of the ex-plan, that I can almost forget that moment in the kitchen. Almost, until we’re all leaving and hugging and kissing, and Elliot leans in to give me hug so light he’s barely touching me, and he walks out of Karina’s flat alone before Teddy has escaped a very pissed Karina’s arms, and I know for sure there is definitely something going on with him.

Chapter 23

‘Be good, Bud.’

The car honks for the third time, and I hurriedly grab my bag and race downstairs before my neighbours have a chance to get out of their beds to tell me off for waking them before nine on a Saturday morning.

‘Best hurry, dear,’ Mr Galanis shouts as I pass his open kitchen window and look in to find him sitting at the table in his dressing gown with a pot of tea in front of him. ‘Don’t worry about the cat. I’ll be up to feed him shortly. Have a great time.’

‘Thanks, Mr G. I’ll bring you back a postcard.’

Len is standing against his Volvo SUV with the driver’s door open and his hand on the steering wheel, ready to beep me again when I round the corner. Every year, at his behest, the English department takes a pilgrimage to Stratford-upon-Avon, the birthplace of Shakespeare, to visit the Royal Shakespeare Theatre to watch one of his plays, walk in the bard’s steps, drink too much wine, enjoy some team building time and generally remind us why we got into teaching this subject in the first place. Last year’s trip was great – we saw The Merchant of Venice, had some amazing cocktails in a cute black-and white Tudor-fronted bar we found, and I loaded up on posters to decorate my classroom with. This weekend is meant to be another social, fun, work-but-not-work trip away. I’ve been looking forward to doing it again, but I’d rather not start the weekend with my head of department scowling at me.

‘Sorry, sorry.’

‘Come on, or we’ll hit the traffic. The satnav’s already saying it’s going to be three hours. Didn’t I say we should have set off earlier?’

‘Sorry.’

I go to the boot to dump my bag, regretting my decision to save a bit of money and accept the lift with Len, who is giving out serious pissed-off dad vibes, instead of taking the train with Katie and Alice, the two English teachers I’m friendly with, who will probably be eating croissants and drinking little cans of gin and tonic about now.

I thought this car journey was going to be just the two of us, so I’m relieved when I hear a cough coming from the back seat as I squeeze my bag in the already crammed boot. The front passenger seat is still unoccupied, so I climb in and turn round to see who is joining us.

‘What the hell?’

‘Charming,’ Elliot says, his lips curling up into a smirk.

‘Oh yes, Lizzie. I forgot to tell you yesterday, didn’t I? Glenda dropped out last minute, leaving it far too late to get any money back for her place. As Elliot has always loved these trips, I decided to ask if our new assistant head would deign to join us again this year although he’s not technically part of our department,’ Len tells me, unable to hide his bitterness at Elliot’s new job title and the promotion over his head.

‘Lovely,’ I say, turning around and smiling back at Len.

Is it lovely? I’m not sure. For Elliot, I suppose it is. He spends most of his weekends working now, so a chance to unwind and spend the next forty-eight hours not holed up in his flat bent over his laptop is a good thing. I’m not so sure for me. This last week, I’ve not seen him as much as normal, our ten-minute lunch check-ups taking a back seat. The past three days, I’ve eaten lunch alone.

After the weirdness between us at Karina’s, I was worried about seeing him back at school, but like always, on Monday morning it was as though nothing happened. We managed to snap back to normal, but doing so this time took a lot more of my strength. By Tuesday afternoon I felt worn out, so it’s been a good thing him being so busy and us having a few days apart.

I was quite looking forward to an Elliot-free weekend, too. A weekend of not thinking about him, of not having to remind myself he’s Teddy’s boyfriend multiple times a day, of deliberately not noticing how handsome he is and how much my body still wants him would have been good for me. But now that’s not going to happen.

‘Just a second, gang. Let me get my sunglasses from the boot.’ Len jumps out the car and immediately, I turn to Elliot.

‘What the fuck?’ I whisper. ‘Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?’

He narrows his eyes at me as if he’s trying to work me out, work out what the reason could possibly be for me being pissed off rather than delighted he’s saved me from hours alone with Len. ‘Because I’ve been mad busy this week, and I presumed Len would have mentioned it.’

‘So busy you couldn’t even text to warn me?’

‘Warn you?’

‘I meant tell me.’ Heat spreads up my chest and climbs up my neck at my choice of words. ‘You could have texted to tell me.’

‘You’re right. I could have texted, but to be honest, I didn’t think I had to. I didn’t think it would be a big deal.’

I don’t know how to reply to that. He’s still looking at me like he doesn’t get what’s going on, and I suppose he wouldn’t get it. He doesn’t know that him being here is any different to any of my work friends being here. He doesn’t know that as soon as I saw him in Len’s car and realised he must be coming on this trip too, my stomach started doing somersaults.

‘No, you didn’t,’ I relent. ‘Sorry. It’s great you’re coming,’ I say, adjusting my tone to something close to sunny.

‘Yeah, it’ll be fun.’

‘It sure will.’ I give him a smile before turning back round, and we wait for Len in silence.