Page 37 of The Best Ex of My Life

‘This is delicious,’ Elliot says, from across the table. ‘Really spectacular.’

‘Elliot, it’s smoked salmon and prawns straight out of the packet on a bit of lettuce,’ I point out to him.

‘Don’t do yourself down. The way you’ve combined them is exquisite.’

‘Shut up,’ I say. We’re grinning at each other, but when I spot Jordan looking at me with his eyebrows scrunched together, I stop and shove a mouthful of prawns in my mouth instead.

‘So what’s your story, then?’ Matthew asks, turning his head from Elliot to me and back again. ‘You seem on very good terms for exes.’

‘Ah, you see that’s because we aren’t exes,’ I tell him. ‘Elliot is a friend from work.’

A confused expression crosses Matthew’s face. ‘Right. I thought the idea was you set each other up with an ex, though.’

Because we’re practically sitting on each other’s laps, it’s impossible to have multiple conversations, so Karina, Jordan and Teddy have zoned into ours.

‘Elliot and Lizzie had a drunken hook up, though, so Lizzie figured he technically qualified, which I’m very happy about,’ Teddy says. ‘What?’ she asks when she turns to catch me glowering at her.

Jordan squirms in his seat, and I put my hand on his, but rather than gripping mine, it lays there flat on his knee. I can’t believe Teddy came out and said that. I start to object before realising she’s not said anything that isn’t fact, and it was only fair that someone explained our situation to Matthew. I presumed Karina would have filled him in, but the two of them must be so caught up in their own bubble that it hadn’t occurred to her.

I’m grateful when Karina lets out a laugh to try and take some of the tension out of the conversation. ‘The great thing about Lizzie setting Teddy up with Elliot is that she’s still friends with him, so she knew just how great he’d be for Teddy.’

‘Right,’ Matthew says. Teddy’s blunt explanation has done nothing to change his confused expression as he looks from one to the other of us. ‘So a one-night-stand was all there was between you both?’ He turns to Elliot for an answer, and I do too. The air has stilled as if everyone is waiting with bated breath for his answer.

‘Yep,’ Elliot tells him, his face expressionless. ‘Lizzie hadn’t been teaching for long when it happened and was far too concerned about making a success of her job to be interested in being led astray by the likes of me, so we stuck to being friends.’

Given that we’ve barely spoken about that night, I’d have expected him to shy away from Matthew’s question by changing the subject or making a joke. I didn’t expect that to come out of his mouth. Our eyes meet, but he doesn’t turn away. He looks right at me, and I’m the one to shy away, shocked he’d choose this moment to share that nugget with me.

If that’s what Elliot thinks happened, it’s the first I’ve heard of it. I swear there was a note of bitterness there, that I know Karina heard too because her eyes have widened and her lips are pressed together, but when I look at Elliot his expression is as mild and pleasant as always. He’s never told me that’s how he read the situation. The Monday morning when we saw each other at work, he was my friend again, and I always presumed he saw it as a mistake to forget about as well. He’s probably only saying this now as an off the cuff remark to Matthew’s question, but the way he said it. The way he suggested that if it wasn’t for me … but no, that’s stupid. He wanted to be friends, that’s all.

Everyone is looking at me, waiting for my response. I put on a smile and shrug.

‘He’s right. Elliot’s known as the bad-ass of the English department, and I didn’t want him dragging me down.’

I make a point of turning to Elliot and giving him a cheeky grin. He’s smiling back, but his eyes are narrower than normal, like he’s trying to work me out.

‘Fair enough,’ Matthew says. ‘You definitely look like you could have been a couple, though. Ouch.’

It’s obvious Matthew’s just been on the receiving end of a kick to his shin.

‘Anyone want more wine?’ I ask, desperate to move this conversation on. I’m not worried about Teddy – she knows all about my hook up with Elliot, and I’m almost certain she’s fine with it, that she sees it as ancient history. But Jordan has become uncharacteristically quiet next to me. I’d given him the briefest of explanations as to why Elliot was part of our plan. Having been witness to Matthew’s questioning, his body has tensed up and he’s giving out strong let-me-be-anywhere-else energy.

Everyone gratefully accepts the offer of wine. I squeeze Jordan’s leg and give him a kiss on his cheek to remind him that he’s the person I’m with now before reaching for the wine and pouring out rosé until it’s reaching the brim of everyone’s glass.

The rest of the meal passes easily enough. The food turns out not to be as much of a disaster as the mess I made preparing it suggested it would be. Yes, there are the odd bits of burn on the pastry I haven’t been able to scrape off, and it does go very quiet for ten minutes or so while everyone chews the beef. Turns out I didn’t read the cooking time correctly for the pavlova, so after an hour it’s still raw egg white and sugar. I end up serving just the fruit and not-as-boozy-as-it-should-be cream, but it’s all edible, there’s plenty of wine flowing and everyone insists they can’t possibly eat another thing.

As soon as Teddy and Karina have taken everything back to the kitchen, firmly shut the door behind them and told me I’m under no circumstances allowed to go back in there for the next few hours, Jordan suggests we move from the table so we can all stretch out.

We end up sitting side by side on my window seat. Teddy, Elliot and Matthew cramp together on my couch and Karina sits on the floor leaning against Matthew’s knee. It’s much more relaxed now, which might be to do with the fact we’re all just past the point of tipsy. I could sit like this, listening to music until everyone decides it’s time to go home, but Teddy has other ideas.

‘Let’s play a game,’ she says.

‘Do we have to?’ I object, but I’m the only one.

There’s a horrible moment where I catch a gleam in her eye and swear she’s going to suggest spin the bottle, which given the group dynamic would be the death knoll to the easy companionship everyone has finally managed to achieve. Instead, she suggests two truths, one lie, an icebreaker game I play with my classes at the beginning of the school year, which I suppose is slightly less painful.

‘Who wants to go first?’ she asks, and I’m surprised when Jordan leans forward to volunteer himself.

‘Yes, Jordan!’ Teddy says. ‘You’ve played before?’