Page 19 of Sins of Innocence

So, I could run before the feds tried to get me to turn state's witness against the mob.

Only he didn't think he would be caught, did he?

One of Troy's failings was his belief that he was smarter than everyone else. Ten years older than me and way more sophisticated, he had me convinced of that narrative right up until Kenneth Shaughnessy came calling with his threats and demands.

A widow with a newborn and two little girls, confused and terrified by what I'd learned about my husband's connection to the mob, I made decisions I've regretted many times since.

The chief among them being: allowing myself to be intimidated into staying in New York.

Troy wasn't the only stupid one in our marriage.

"Fitz, why don't you and Sadie join me and the littles making Christmas cookies?" Kara asks. "They'll probably spend more time pounding the dough than cutting it into shapes. It would help a lot if I had some help in actually making edible cookies."

There's laughter in her voice as she says the last and that sensation of falling down the rabbit hole intensifies. Mob families make Christmas cookies? In June? Who are the littles?

"What do you say, Sadie? Do you want to help us make cookies?" Fitz asks my daughter. "I think my da needs to talk to your mom and Kieran anyway."

"I…no…" My brain is still stuttering on this new development. "We have to leave. Neeve and Joy will be home from school soon."

I latch onto that excuse with desperate fervor. No one here has to know that my mom will be picking them up and plans to watch my girls until bedtime because I was supposed to work through the dinner party tonight.

"Gran is watching them tonight," Sadie says with way too much candor and then sighs. "I wish they could come and make cookies with us. They'd love it and Gran could use a break."

Guilt flays me, like it always does when I think about how much my mom has taken on to help me since I had Sadie, but especially since Troy's death.

"I'll send a car for them," Kieran says without a by-your-leave to me.

And just like that, I'm ready to yell all over again. "My daughters aren't going anywhere with a total stranger," I say, nearly straining my vocal cords with the effort to keep my voice even.

"Sadie and me will go get them," Fitz offers instantly. "You don't mind waiting on the cookies, do you, mom? The twins are probably still napping anyway."

Kara smiles with approval at her son. "You're probably right. I'll just join your da and the others until you all get back."

Why do I get the feeling that this is the exact outcome Kara Shaughnessy planned?

"Is that okay, mom?" Sadie asks, like I have any say in the matter.

Everything is spinning out of control and I can't see a way to get off the merry-go-round my life has suddenly become. If the underboss wants to talk to me, that's what's going to happen.

Just like for the past six years, I have no real power over my life or that of my children.

Even the school they attend has been dictated by Kenneth Shaughnessy.

He made like he was being magnanimous in paying their tuition to private school. And at first, I believed that too. I was even grateful. Until I realized it was just another way for him to control me and my girls.

Even knowing it's a done deal, before I answer my daughter, I turn to Kieran and demand, "They'll all be safe, right? You promised."

"Yes." His eyes dare me not to believe him.

My eyes promise him mayhem and retribution if he's lying.

Someone clears their throat. I think it's the underboss.

I force a reassuring smile for Sadie and nod. "Yes, that's fine."

This time when I sit down, I take the spot Sadie had been in at one end of the couch. If I think it's going to put room between me and Kieran, I soon learn how wrong I am.

Because the behemoth sits right next to me, crowding me into the arm.