Page 102 of Truthfinder’s Promise

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Meredith was dead on her feet. She wanted a shower, food, sleep, and Jensen. Not necessarily in that order. She figured if she was lucky, she might get two of those things. Her home had become Shifter central.

Of the eleven Shifters they’d liberated from Analisa, two had died—the great tiger who’d led the charge, and one of the cougars—and two had, by best guest, taken Jensen’s offer to disappear into the night and find their own way home.

That had left them with seven injured Shifters in need of food and shelter. Meredith figured she already had four Shifters staying with her, so what was another seven? Random and Jace had gotten stuck with the grocery store runs while Siren and Valkyrie sorted out the apprehended criminals back at council headquarters. Rebekah contacted the other enclave leaders, and Meredith and Jensen got the Shifters sorted.

About half of them had managed to go human after devouring the first food delivery. The others had sustained enough damage in the fight that, combined with months of being fed just enough to keep them alive, Jensen said it would take them a few more hours to recuperate enough to shift.

The ones that were still furry were sleeping off food comas in her living room, while the ones who’d shifted had all disappeared upstairs with a stack of clothes and hygiene products. Random and Jace’s first shopping spree had hit Walmart, from which they’d returned with the store’s entire stock of meat cuts, dozens of shirts and sweatpants in every size, and enough hygiene products to shower and pamper six times as many Shifters as they had.

Her kitchen door opened and the two of them hauled in another mountain of supplies, making four more trips back out to Jace’s truck before they got it all in.

“That’s it for the night.” Random deposited four bags of takeout on the counter while Jace methodically organized meat into her refrigerator. Fortunately the fridge had been mostly empty, otherwise it wouldn’t have all fit.

Random shoved a takeout box and a fork at her. “Sit. Eat.”

She accepted the items on reflex, then set them down and picked up two of the bags of takeout boxes. “I need to take these upstairs.” The Shifters who were in human form and awake were probably already hungry again. And after what they’d been through, they deserved to eat something that wasn’t raw meat.

“You need to sit down before you fall down.” Jensen’s arms came around her and he gently removed the bags from her grip.

“I’m fine, I—”

“Need a shower and clothes that aren’t using blood as a fashion statement,” he growled.

She looked down at the ruined evening dress. She’d sort of forgotten she was still wearing it and now felt vaguely ridiculous. It did explain why she was so uncomfortable. “But—”

“No buts.” He handed her the takeout box she’d rejected moments before. “Go upstairs. Eat. Shower. Go to sleep. You need it.”

Covert glances at Random and Jace revealed they were in total agreement, so she wouldn’t be getting any help from that corner. She turned back to Jensen and lifted her chin. “I could tell you the same thing.” He hadn’t slowed down any more than she had, barely pausing long enough to put on clothes. If he stood still for any length of time he inevitably swayed, like he was about to topple over at any moment.

“I’ll be up soon,” he said softly. “I just need to check on Nat.”

Meredith fell asleep leaning against the shower wall with conditioner still in her hair. She jerked awake when the water ran cold and nearly died an ignominious death as her feet slid out from under her and she landed on her ass on the tile floor.

She’d survived an energy vampire, her thrall army, and a magic circlet to nearly become a statistic in American bathroom fatalities. Brilliant.

She rinsed out the conditioner as the water got progressively colder. She was in full-body shivers by the time she finished, and decided she was upgrading to a point-of-use water heater that could deliver an endless supply of hot water. Provided, of course, she didn’t end up torching the house as some sort of final, cathartic fuck you to her mother.

The thought of Savannah Townsend didn’t inspire its usual round of unwanted memories, helplessness, and rage. People said revenge didn’t help but…Meredith kind of thought it had. Maybe not the revenge itself, but the taking charge of a situation. She’d wanted to do something—to help Jensen and the Shifters, to deal with Julian—and she had.

The voice in her head, the one constantly telling her she was weak and stupid and useless had finally shut up. With it gone, the need to do something with the house—to either make it hers or destroy it—was gone too. It was just a building. Terrible things had happened in it, but that didn’t make it a bad place. It wasn’t a place she wanted to live in, anymore, but it could be a home for someone else.

She could sell it and buy a new one. No—she could build a new one. Maybe not with her own hands, but she could design it. A house that would be hers. A place she could never feel like she didn’t belong because she had chosen every single thing about it. A home.

Her father’s gardens would be hard to let go but she could rebuild those, too. Plant new ones in his honor, a kind of living memorial to the man her mother had never let her properly grieve.

She would contact a realtor and get it on the market as soon as she could. Rent somewhere in town until she found the perfect place to build what she wanted. Until she figured out what she wanted.

The decision made, it felt like a physical weight dropped from her shoulders. She put on a pair of warm sweats and a t-shirt, wishing she had one of Jensen’s instead. She slowly ate her now-cold takeout and tried not to feel too disappointed that Jensen hadn’t come up. Between her shower nap and her intentionally slow meal time, it had been over an hour since she’d left him downstairs.

She fought sleep, waiting even though some part of her knew if he was going to come up, he would have done it by now. His sister had been through hell. Natalie needed him.

I need him too. She shoved the thought away. She didn’t want to need him. She didn’t want the bed to feel empty without him.

I would have asked you to be mine. She’d known better than to hold onto those words. He was Natalie’s guardian. His sister was going to need him and her life—his life—wasn’t in Seclusion. He would want to take her home, where she would be surrounded by familiar places and people and things.

Maybe, once he’d done that, once Natalie was back on her feet…maybe then he’d have space in his life for Meredith. If he still wanted to have space for her, then. If all of this between them hadn’t just been situational proximity and emotion and post-traumatic stress.

She hugged a pillow to her chest and told herself that letting him go couldn’t hurt more than all the hell her mother had put her through.

She fell asleep to the gentle hum of her magic calling her a liar.