Page 46 of When the Smoke Clears

I love my job, that much is true; the way it challenges me and keeps my mind engaged. But I was restless and lonely, the kind of restlessness that gnaws at you slowly, destroying the light in your eyes within its self-imposed prison walls.

Being home, while being threatened and nearly run down in the street, has made me feel more alive than anything in the past decade.

I must be out of my mind.

And Luke…he doesn’t want me here. That much is obvious. But he can’t stand the thought of not protecting me, either. I can’t decide if it’s because of his duty or our past. My foolish heart hopes it’s the latter.

I glance at him, admiring the way he’s studying whatever he’s reading in the file in his hand. Even when we argue, there’s a powerful energy that courses through me. I’ve tried to erase every memory of him, to bury the past deep within, but now, standing here, there’s no way I can retreat from it.

I fan myself with a towel. Is it hot in this kitchen, or is it just me?

“Hey, Luke, dinner’s in the oven. I’m going to take a shower,” I call out, lingering in the doorway of the bedroom. A cold shower.

“Yep,” he responds, his eyes glued to the glow of his computer screen, fingers tapping on the keyboard.

After a quick shower with the steam still swirling in the bathroom, I wrap a fluffy towel around myself and run a brush through my damp hair before settling on the bed.

The sudden chime of my phone vibrating on the nightstand startles me. My heart races as I approach the device, like a bomb ready to detonate. For a moment, I consider calling out for Luke to join me, but then I glance down at myself, wrapped only in a towel, and remind myself that I am a grown woman.

With trembling fingers, I reach for the phone and unlock the screen to reveal a series of worried texts.

ERIN: WHERE ARE YOU????? YOU’VE BEEN MIA SINCE LAST NIGHT.

ERIN: STOP IGNORING ME!

ERIN: YOU BETTER BE TRAPPED UNDERNEATH A HOT GUY.

The last one makes me laugh. I quickly type a response.

ISLA: I’m so sorry. I have so much to tell you.

ERIN: Is everything alright?

ISLA: Not even a little bit. But I’m okay.

ERIN: You can’t go radio silent on me. I almost called the Coast Guard.

ISLA:

ERIN: What’s so funny?

ISLA: I think you mean the National Guard.

ERIN: I will call a bodyguard, a lifeguard, and a pack of guard dogs!

Man, I missed her.

ISLA:

ISLA: Can I call you?

ERIN: I’m at the hospital. Connor went home today! Let’s chat tomorrow.

ISLA: That makes me so happy. I LOVE YOU!

ERIN: You better.

ERIN: I LOVE YOU MORE!