Page 54 of Your Love

“I’m sorry,” I apologize, shaking my head in frustration. “That’s my nickname for you.”

A genuine smile spreads across her face. “I like it,” she admits, the corners of her lips twitching upwards. “It looks like I’ll be here for a while,” she says, confirming what her father told me earlier. “So, I suppose you’ll be going back home soon?” she asks, her sadness returning.

“I’m not sure yet. The last thing I want to do is overwhelm you or frighten you in any way. But I feel that I belong wherever you are, and if that’s here, then maybe I should be here too.”

Kerri bites her lip and mulls over my words. “I don’t want you to put your life on hold. I don’t know how long all of this is going to take. Nobody knows. The doctors can’t give me any clear answers.”

I can make out the frustration in her voice. “I know that has to be so frustrating,” I tell her. “But you speak highly of this place, so maybe I can stick around and see what it’s all about?”

“What about hockey?” she asks. “Won’t you get into trouble?”

I shrug my shoulders. “It’ll be fine. Coach will understand.” I assure her. What I don’t tell her is that while he might understand, he won’t hold the spot for me. None of that matters to me right now. The only thing I care about is bringing my girl back to me.

Chapter 24

“Scars”

Kerri - Age 19, 1989

I’ve been home from the hospital for two days. Physically, I feel like I was hit by a car, but the mental toll of what’s going on is worse. It wasn’t just a car that hit me; it was an eighteen-wheeler that struck me, backed up over me, and then hit me again, just for good measure.

It still hurts to move, but I have to try to use my muscles as much as possible. Once everything is healed, I’ll have some physical therapy, but it’s my broken brain that’s giving me the most trouble.

At least I’m home where it’s familiar. I’m sitting in my kitchen, the comforting place I’ve always called home, where memories of making cookies, family meals, and doing homework fill my mind and my soul.

Landry sits across from me. It’s surreal that he is supposed to be the closest person in my life right now, but he still feels like a stranger. In the past few days, my brain has come to some sort of realization that he’s not a threat, so at least I can be near him without my body going into fight or flight mode. Maybe it’s the easy way he talks or the fact that he’s comfortable sitting in silence, but his presence isn’t threatening anymore. It’s just…unfamiliar.

“Can I bring you some more tea?” Landry asks. His big hands are tightly wrapped around the mug which says, “Bless your heart.” It’s almost comical how small it is in his hands.

“No, I’m good,” I tell him. I can’t help but feel bad that he’s taking time away from his life when I can’t give him what he needs from me. He says he’s fine simply being here with me, but the feeling of letting him down is making me feel worse about everything. He looks at me with these expectant eyes, and it breaks my heart because I can’t return the love I see in his soft, amber gaze. At least, not right now.

He shifts his large body in his seat. “Do you want to watch a movie?”

“Maybe later. I’m tired. I might take a nap.”

The disappointment on his face is clear, but he steals himself quickly. “Makes sense. You need to rest.”

I feel like this visit should be different. This is the first time he’s been to Texas, so I should be showing him my childhood bedroom, taking him to some of my favorite places, and all the things couples do when they visit each other’s hometown.

Landry gets up to put his coffee cup in the sink. “How is Paige doing?” he asks as he begins washing his mug.

“She’s better,” I reply. “I’m grateful she’s out of the ICU, and she’s going to recover.”

Landry dries the cup with the hand towel and puts it back in the cabinet. His movements are surprisingly graceful for such a large man. His thighs are so thick that they stretch the fabric of those jeans…

“Can I ask you a question?” he asks, pulling me out of my ogling.

“Sure.”

“Why were you driving her car? Do you remember?”

“I really don’t remember, but I spoke with Paige and she said she brought a little flask into the theater and poured it into her Coke Slushie. Jack and Coke Slurpee,” Kerri says with a weak smile. “So, I told her I’d drive home.”

He leans against the counter, his big arms flexed across his chest.

“Why do you ask?”

Landry drugs indifferently. “I was just curious. No big deal,” he says, but something nags at me that makes me think he’s wondering if there’s more to it than that. Still, I don’t push the subject.