Page 36 of Your Love

I’m lost in a haze of lust and pleasure, something I’ve only dared dream about up to this point. I don’t know how long we’ve been locked together in this intense embrace, but when Kerri reaches for my belt buckle, I somehow find the strength to pull back. “As much as I want to know what’s about to happen next,” I manage to say through heavy breaths, “we should probably slow down.”

My words are met with a disappointed whimper from Kerri, but it’s for the best. We have all the time in the world for each other.

Kerri swings her leg over and climbs off me. She tucks into my side, her warmth seeping into my skin as we lay under the stars. I can see the desire in her eyes, but I also sense her understanding.

I reach out and gently grab her chin, turning her gaze to meet mine. “Hey, don’t be disappointed. I never want to stop being close to you. I could kiss you all night under these stars.” Her eyes shine with joy, and she smiles at my words.

“But…” I continue, hesitant. “I’m not prepared for this. I don’t have a condom, and my truck isn’t exactly the most romantic or secluded spot.”

“What if I promise to be really quiet?” she jokes, trying to ease the tension.

“You won’t be able to,” I respond, meeting her gaze with an intensity that assures her I’m serious about waiting until we have a more suitable place and time.

She swallows thickly and then playfully punches me in the side. “Now, see. You can’t say things like that after telling me no. It’s mean.”

I dip my head down to softly kiss her sweet lips. “I didn’t say no,” I murmur against her mouth. “I suggested better timing so that you can be as loud as you need to be.”

Her cheeks flame. “Who are you, and what have you done with the Landry I’ve come to know?” she teases with a giggle.

I lean back, my arms wrapped around her as she rests against my chest. “You were just hanging out with best friend Landry before, but trust me, Baby. Being with boyfriend Landry will be a completely different and unforgettable experience.”

Chapter 16

“So Far Away”

Kerri - Age 18, 1988

As I sit on my narrow bed in the cramped dorm room, Landry’s voice crackles through the receiver of my old phone. “I can’t wait to see you tomorrow,” he says, making my stomach feel alive with butterflies.

He wasn’t lying when he said the Landry-boyfriend experience would be different. Over the past few weeks, he’s become this perfect blend of charming and alluring—his jokes make me giggle uncontrollably, yet there’s an undeniable heat behind his playful banter. He knows what to say during our late-night calls, and his attentiveness makes me feel seen without suffocating me.

I can’t wait to see him, even though I’m splitting this Christmas break between Merrimack and Texas. I still get ten uninterrupted days with him, and it’s been all I can think about.

For the past few weeks, our interaction has been limited to brief phone calls squeezed between classes, study sessions, and hockey practice. Landry doesn’t have a personal telephone line, and since I share a phone with my roommate, privacy has been a luxury we can’t afford.

One thing I know for sure is that the man has the patience of a saint. First, I made him wait months on end before moving our relationship past friendship, and now he’s waiting for the physical part of our romance. He’s been calm and reassuring, reminding me that nothing needs to be rushed.

If anything, it’s me who wants to move faster. I think he’s being careful with my heart because of my past, and I also think some little twisted part of him is enjoying the slow torture he’s putting me through.

We didn’t get a chance to spend much quality time together over Thanksgiving break. I was home for four days, and we weren’t able to steal many moments alone after that first night, so things have remained PG-17 in that department.

Not that it matters—I could kiss him all day and never complain. Damn, that man can kiss. His lips on mine make my heart race, and my stomach flutter. He knocks my socks clean off.

Of course, I’m still nervous about what could happen if things don’t work out. It would crush me. But I’m doing my best to stop from overthinking it. I don’t want to ruin anything before it even starts. It doesn’t escape me that every relationship you have fails except for one. THE one. Landry could be that person for me. I wouldn’t jeopardize our friendship if I didn’t think so.

For now, we’re keeping our relationship a secret from our friends. It’s so new, and it’s been a blissful escape to have each other and not have to deal with outside opinions or expectations. But I know we’ll have to come clean, and I’m not ready to face their questions and opinions just yet.

“I can’t wait to see you, either,” I say. “My grandparents are spending time with some friends on Christmas Eve. I was hoping you could come over.”

“Try and stop me,” he replies.

I fidget on the edge of the couch, my leg bouncing as I try to calm my racing heart. The thought of Landry coming over has me on edge, and I can’t sit still. I check the clock for the tenth time in as many minutes, take a deep breath, and force myself to focus on something else. It doesn’t work.

When my grandparents left, I jumped into action, lighting candles around the living room, making sure they were evenly spaced and the scents were complimentary—vanilla and lavender. I quickly changed into my favorite bra and matching underwear set, hoping Landry would like it.

Now, my stomach churns with nerves as I pace back and forth in my living room, waiting for the knock on my front door. This is Landry we’re talking about—the same guy I’ve been hanging out with since not long after I moved here. But the dynamics have changed, and there’s more at stake now. The knock on the front door pulls me out of my thoughts and back into my nervous reality.

I take deep breaths and smooth down my hair before heading to answer it. As soon as I open the door, my eyes widen at the sight before me. Landry stands on my front porch wearing a red sweater, jeans, and a ridiculous Santa hat, balancing several gifts in his arms. His big grin warms me from head to toe, and all my nerves disappear in an instant.