Page 18 of Your Love

“Of course we can,” I reply eagerly. “I’d like that very much.”

He extends his hand, palm facing upwards and pinky finger outstretched. “Pinky swear,” he says with a playful grin. I link my pinky with his, our fingers interlocking in an unbreakable promise.

“Pinky swear,” I reply with a smile of my own.

Chapter 8

“She’s So High”

Landry - Age 18, 1988

The past two weeks have been a whirlwind of emotions. I’ve done my best to adjust to the idea that Kerri and I can only be friends. I’ve spent countless hours dissecting our every interaction, trying to understand her reasons for not wanting more.

The thought of losing her is unacceptable, so I’ve forced myself to push down my feelings and focus on being there for her as a friend. It isn’t easy, but I respect her too much to question her decision. If this is the only way I can keep her in my life, then I’ll make it work no matter how much it hurts.

Prom was a particularly eye-opening experience that showed me the lengths to which Kerri will go to show everyone she only wants to be friends. We rode together in a limo, and everyone was excited and hopeful for the future as we arrived in a flurry of laughter.

Delzy and Ivy walked in front of us, the only true couple, their fingers laced as we headed into the venue. The rest of us shuffled along, with Sascha and Kerri intentionally keep Taz and I at arm’s length. During pictures, they positioned themselves in a way that Sash stood in front of me, and Kerri stood in front of Taz. It wasn’t even a bit subtle, and we both got the hint.

I tried to act nonchalant, but every time I caught a glimpse of Kerri laughing, my heart ached that I wasn’t the one to put that smile on her face. Toward the end of the dance, Taz suggested he ask Kerri to dance. I knew what it was—his way of trying to get back at Sash. I gave my blessing, with the caveat that his hands had to stay in a neutral position so that I didn’t have to beat his ass.

I watched from afar as he effortlessly held her in his arms for three minutes. He laughed at something she said, and it pissed me off that he got that time with her. It hurt, knowing that their dance was purely platonic while my feelings for her grew more complicated with each passing second.

Afterward, Taz pulled me to the side. “Dude, I spent the past few minutes dancing with that girl, and I’m telling you, you two will be perfect together. She’s like some sort of crazy Disney princess, and you’re the epitome of Prince Charming. It’s perfect.”

“Epitome?” I repeated with a surprised look on my face.

“What? I know some big words,” he said, puffing out his chest.

I chuckled and then hit him with the hard truth. “She’s sworn off relationships.”

He shook his head, unfazed. “I don’t care what she says. It’s going to happen with that girl. Don’t give up.”

It was a rare moment of sincerity from my friend, who’s grown up so much in the past few months. I suspect Sash has something to do with that, but neither of them is willing to talk about what’s going on between them.

“Thanks, bro,” I told him. And then, just like prom night came to a close, so did everything else.

Not long after, we graduated, and all hell broke loose. Ever since the night we officially said goodbye to Merrimack High School, our tight-knit group of friends has been unraveling.

Ivy and Delzy, the couple that seemed invincible, called it quits. Delzy is leaving for college in Boston next week, leaving Ivy behind. She said she couldn’t go with him, despite his repeated requests. She wasn’t ready, and in the end, he understood. It’s no one’s fault—it’s just shitty timing.

Taz and Sascha had a major falling out, and Taz ended up crashing at Delzy’s house until he left a few days ago. I’m not sure exactly what happened, but the truce they had reached is forgotten.

All of a sudden, the promise that Kerri and I made NOT to get romantically involved seems to have evolved into a brilliant spark in the wake of everyone else’s relationships imploding one by one.

While everyone else is going their own way, she and I have been grabbing lunch, going to the movies, and just enjoying summer. I’m hoping I can bring Pais over to visit the farm. Those animals are something else. My favorite is a rooster named Colonel Cocky, who chased Taz on prom night. I’ll never forget his screams as he ran bare-assed in the moonlight through a field from an angry, balding rooster. I’ve never felt more respect for an animal in my entire life.

It’s been a couple of days since I’ve seen her and I miss my friend, so I dial the familiar number, and after two rings, an aged voice answers. “Hello?” It’s Kerri’s grandfather, Earl.

“Hello, Sir,” I say with a shaky breath. “It’s Landry.”

“Landry, if you don’t stop it with that ‘Sir’ business, you’ll be the next one on Cocky’s list.”

I chuckle. “Sorry, Sir—I mean Earl. Is Kerri home?”

“She is home, but she’s been grumbling around here all day. She has her monthly bill, and she’s meaner than a wet panther.”

“Is a wet panther mean?”