Page 72 of Beautiful Small Things

“Don’t talk about me like I’m not right fucking here! Honestly, Callan, why are you even involved in this conversation?” James asks through tears. “This isn’t about you.”

Callan turns to her, and suddenly his demeanor softens. “You’ve been the closest thing I’ve had to a little sister ever since I can remember. You gave Nolan years he wouldn’t have had. I love you, James.”

“I love her, too!” I yell. Taking a deep breath to calm myself down, I speak with a voice much more relaxed than I feel. “Look, we can talk about this later, but this isn’t the time or place.”

“James, are you alright?” he looks over my shoulder and asks her, ignoring my request.

“I’m fine,” she says with a sniffle as she wipes her tears with the cuffs of her sweater. “We will all talk about this later, but right now, we need to go sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to that beautiful little girl. That’s where I’m going, and if you two want to stay in here and compare the size of your dicks, that’s fine. I’m done for now.”

She walks away and we slowly follow, but not before Callan stops me with his hand on my chest. “We WILL talk about this later,” he says.

We manage to get through the rest of the party. Iris loves her cake and makes a mess smearing it all over herself and then Orion. She normally doesn’t like to have her hands dirty, so I’m pleasantly surprised with her participation.

The energy is strange, but everyone seems to have the good sense not to ask any questions. Colby and James are huddled together in a corner, talking before everyone leaves, and after she hugs her sister, Colby approaches me.

“It was a lovely party, Marcus,” she says, going on to her toes to give me a hug. She whispers in my ear, “Don’t worry about Callan. I’ll speak with him.”

After everyone leaves and we get Iris settled down, James and I sit outside. It’s quiet for several minutes until she breaks the awkward silence.

“I’m sorry I got upset and raised my voice at you,” she says.

“I understand that this must be a difficult decision. I wish you would’ve trusted me to tell me about it.”

James

“It’s not that I didn’t trust you, Marcus,” I sigh. “I still hadn’t decided what I wanted to do, and I didn’t want to be burdened with everyone’s opinion.”

“Have you decided?” He asks quietly, staring down at the grass under his feet.

“Yes,” I answer confidently. “I’m not going.”

“Are you one hundred percent sure?” He asks.

I nod in response as he looks up.

“May I ask why?”

My eyes narrow. “Why? What do you mean why?”

“This has been your dream ever since you started walking. Why are you giving this up so easily?” He asks.

“I’m not giving it up. I’m choosing something different. I’m choosing you and Iris.” I can feel the tears threatening to break free as my eyes sting and my heaviness settles in my chest.

Marcus shakes his head.

“You don’t have to choose. You can follow your dream. We will still be here.”

I knew he’d try to talk me into going. I knew it deep down. This is exactly why I didn’t tell him.

My words are strung together as my panic translates to my words.

“It would never work. I’ll be across the country. The long hours will be brutal. You already work so much. How do you expect us to stay together?”

He pauses for a moment and looks at me with sadness marring his beautiful features.

“I think you are a twenty-four-year-old woman who needs to follow her dreams. This situation calls for you to be selfish. For once in your life, BJ. Be selfish. If you don’t, you might regret it and resent me later.”

“That won’t happen,” I say as I bite my lip.