Page 51 of Beautiful Small Things

“I don’t know. I’m trying to explain,” she whines. “I thought I would put her up for adoption. But as soon as I looked at her, I saw you, and I couldn’t do it.”

“What am I supposed to do, Chelsea? You know my life. You know how I am. How could you possibly think I can do this?” My hand flies up in frustration.

“I know you can do this. You will be a wonderful father,” she sobs.

“How can you possibly know that? I’m 29. I work 80-hour weeks. I’ve never been responsible for anything but my own gratification.”

“Just give me some time, Marcus. I have to try to work things out with my family. I feel like I’m losing my mind. I can’t take care of her.” The desperation in her voice does little to quell my anger.

“No, Chelsea. You had nine months to talk to me. You should have come to me and prepared me for this. I would’ve been there for you. You chose to hide. Take care of yourself. I have this now.”

“Please forgive me,” she pleads.

“It’s not my forgiveness you will need. It’s our daughter’s. One day she will ask, and I won’t lie to her.”

“I know,” she says with a shaky voice. “Marcus?”

“What,” I say with a deep exhale.

“She was born full-term. She’s healthy. I have her birth certificate. You are listed as her father. I have a few things-”

“I don’t need anything. Like I said, I’ve got this now. Just mail the birth certificate. Expect to hear from my lawyer soon.”

I hang up feeling angry, confused, terrified, and alone. Only I’m not alone. I have an infant in the next room who needs me. I push those feelings aside and make my way back to the kitchen, where my best friend greets me with expectant eyes.

“Well?” he asks.

“She’s mine,” I exhale.

“What?” Callan asks, stunned. I can understand why he’d be confused. I’ve always been careful. Well, mostly. My future was too important to me to jeopardize it. My father’s voice would echo in my ears anytime I began to act carelessly.

“Have your frivolous fun, Son, but don’t forget who you are and where you come from. The Sinclair name carries wealth and power. Certain women are drawn to that. They will take advantage if given the opportunity.”

I scrub my hand down my face and begin my explanation. “I had a three-week affair with her mother last year.” Before anyone can start, I explain further. “I didn’t know she was married. She was a beautiful, older doctor who was following a patient in the hospital briefly. I thought I was careful.”

It’s silent as they take in my words. No one chastises me or looks at me like the piece of crap I’m feeling like. Instead, Colby slips into my arms for a hug while Callan puts his hand on my shoulder supportively. James is still rocking the baby, who appears content in her arms.

“That doesn’t mean she’s yours,” Colby says softly.

“She is,” I reply. “Jesus. She was only born three days ago.”

“What do you need from us?” Colby asks, placing her hand on my shoulder.

“I’ll arrange for a DNA test to establish paternity so that I can ask her mother to give up her rights,” I say, thinking aloud. “But for now, I need diapers, formula, blankets, clothes…shit, everything.”

“OK. Colby and I will go get diapers, bottles, formula, and a few clothes,” Callan says.

Colby jumps up and down and claps. “This is going to be so fun.”

Callan looks at her and laughs. “Calm down, woman,” he jokes, “This is not your baby. Remember that.”

She punches him lightly in the arm. “I know, but it’s still exciting. Our lives just changed in the best way,” she exclaims.

“I’m not sure what to do now,” I admit.

“Get to know your daughter,” Callan smiles. “James will stay here with you, yeah?” he asks, looking over at James.

She nods, still captivated by the bundle in her arms.