Page 36 of Beautiful Small Things
I expect her to fight me, but she drops to her knees like the good girl she is. I make a show of unbuttoning my jeans as she looks up at me and bites her lip. I watch her lick her lips as I slowly lower my zipper. Then I grab her face and lean to speak to her eye to eye. “Well, too bad because it’s never going to happen.” With that, I turn and walk out, hearing her yell, “Fuck you!” just as the door closes behind me.
It was the most difficult thing I’ve ever done, leaving James alone like that. I deserve a medal of honor for not touching her. The problem is that now she’s under my skin. I’ve done everything I can to stay away from her. I have avoided family events with Colby and Callan. I have spent longer hours at school and in study groups. I’ve worked out for hours on end all in an effort to purge this woman from my mind.
It’s been a month, and I still think about her constantly.
What the fuck am I going to do?
I’m sitting on the couch, flipping through television channels mindlessly when Callan walks in the front door.
“Hey, Buddy!” he exclaims, with a creepy look on his face.
I lean away from him and look him up and down skeptically. “What the fuck, Dude? Why are you smiling like that clowny, motherfucker Pennywise from ‘It’?”
He lets out a hearty laugh as he answers. “Colby and I finally set a wedding date.”
“What?” I exclaim. “It’s been almost six years since you proposed. I figured she was stringing you along, waiting for me to make my move on her.”
“Fuck you!” he says, punching me in the chest.
“Wow, Dude. I’m really happy for you,” I say honestly, hugging him. If anyone deserves to be happy, it’s my best friend.
“It’s about to get busy for all of us,” he says. “Especially you and James.”
What’s that now?
“What do you mean? Me and James?” I ask in a panic.
“Well, she’s the maiden of honor. Colby is asking her today. And we only have six months to get this together.”
“What’s the rush? You knock her up?”
“No, you fucker. I just really want to marry this woman. We’ve waited long enough.”
“But am I really the guy you want picking out flowers and shit?” I ask.
“No, you’re the last person I want to make any decisions,” he says with a laugh.
“The ladies will do most of the planning, but we have to help in any way we can. I don’t want Colby stressing too much. So, when they need something, we will be there. Right?” He questions.
My mind is running wild with thoughts of being near James for any length of time. Suddenly flashes of us fucking in various wedding vendor facilities cross my mind. In the back of a bakery, on a table covered with frosting. Bent over in a flower shop. Up against the dressing room wall in a bridal shop.
“Right, Marcus?” Callan repeats, and the sound of his voice pulls me back to reality.
“Of course. Whatever you need,” I tell him.
There’s going to be a wedding. It’s been a long time coming, and I can’t fuck it up. I’m the best man. James is the maiden of honor. Fuck. There’s no avoiding her now.
Chapter fourteen
Brunch
James - Age 20
I squeal in delight as my sister asks me to help her plan her wedding and be such a big part of the day. I’m honored and only slightly jealous. I’ve been doing my best not to think about Marcus and what happened between us. Despite the effort, I’ve found myself replaying the events of that afternoon over and over in my mind.
“Fuck you!” was the last thing I said to him as he walked out the door. I still can’t believe he had the audacity to come over to my apartment and chastise me like a child.
Was it slightly devious to follow him on his page? Perhaps. But I am a paying customer, just like everyone else. Was it deceitful to message him and ask for things? Not at all. That’s a service he provides. Half the people he knows could be paying customers for all he knows.
