Page 86 of Risking the Pucking Defense

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HAYDEN

Hayden: Coast is clear. The only person I saw was a cleaner going into the dressing room. He’s gonna be in there a long while.

Poor motherfucker. I wouldn’t wish that job on anyone after we’ve all been in there post-game. I’m amazed he didn’t walk in wearing a hazmat suit.

My heart races as I unlock my car and drop into the driver’s seat.

This is happening.

This is really happening.

I check my cell to see that Hailee’s read my message, but she hasn’t responded or even reacted.

My hand trembles as I consider that she might change her mind. I could see the hesitation in her eyes. She was trying to convince herself that what we were doing was wrong. And while she might be right, nothing feels that way when we’re together. In fact, it feels the opposite.

The short time we had in that closet wasn’t enough. Nowhere near enough.

Dropping my cell into the cupholder, I keep my eyes locked on the door that’ll lead her out here toward me.

It shouldn’t take her more than five minutes, but every second feels like a freaking hour. And when I begin to convince myself that she’s not coming and I look at the clock, I discover only two minutes have passed.

“Calm down,” I mutter to myself. “She’s coming.”

Please, let her come.

I close my eyes and focus on my breathing. But when I open them again and discover nothing has changed, my unease returns.

If she doesn’t come…then what?

I can’t exactly drive to her place and force her to talk to me. Can I?

No. I can’t.

I’d have to wait.

And what if there isn’t a good time? With how busy we’re both going to be from here on out, it could be weeks—months, even—until I have the chance to get her to myself again. I can’t have that.

We have another game in two days. What if the same thing happens? What if I need her?

Fuck. I’m going to need her.

Everyone is going to tell me that it’ll be easier next time. That this first game without Rylee watching will have been the worst. I guess they’d probably be right. But it’s not like it’s going to get easier. Just…normal.

Pain slashes through my chest at that thought.

We should have had our whole lives together. I should have been able to meet the man she was going to spend the rest of her life with, watch her get married and have children. I’ll never get to be the fun uncle who gives them everything their mom says they can’t have, all the while getting a death glare from my sister.

She deserved all of that and so much more, and it kills me that she’ll never get to experience any of it, or follow any of her dreams.

I’m so lost in my own head that I don’t notice the door to the parking garage open, or the woman walking my way. I don’t hear the click clack of her heels against the concrete floor, but the second the passenger door is pulled open, I’m back with it.

“Hailee?”

Her petite frame drops into my passenger seat, and she looks at me with her brows pinched.

“Sorry, were you expecting someone else?”