Page 80 of Risking the Pucking Defense

I’m almost at the locker room when I get a flash of dark curls from the other end of the hallway. My footsteps slow. I’m so desperate to get a better look at her. I watch as she shakes someone’s hand and then walks directly toward me.

“Evening, boys. All ready for tonight?” she asks, dragging her eyes from mine and looking at everyone.

“You know we’ve got this in the bag,” Killer says confidently.

She smirks, all too used to the guys’ egos.

“That’s what I like to hear,” she says, as those ahead of me file into the dressing room, ready for our final words from Coach.

Just before I turn toward the door, her eyes find mine again. My lips twitch, but as glad as I am to see her, I’m still struggling to get my head in the game. I’m not sure what she can see on my face, but her eyes narrow and her brows pinch.

Her lips part as if she’s going to say something, but I don’t get a chance to hear it because someone shoves me from behind, forcing me to move.

Everything is a blur as Coach confirms the starting lineup and gives us his pregame speech. But with each second that passes, my heart rate picks up, and the only thing I can focus on is that empty seat.

Will it be worse if I go out there and it’s still empty, or if someone is sitting in it?

“I’m sorry,” I mumble as I push from my stall. I don’t need to look back to know that all eyes are on me as I crash through the door and race down the hallway. I don’t know where I’m going, or what I’m doing, I just…I need…

I set my sights on a cleaning closet up ahead, and the second I’m in touching distance, I wrap my fingers around the handle, rip the door open, and step inside.

The overhead light flickers to life, and I slump against the wall, my hands on my knees, desperately trying to calm my breathing.

But it doesn’t work.

Nothing works.

It’s because she’s not here. She’s not at home watching.

How am I meant to do this without her?

The tears filling my eyes finally spill over, and a loud sob erupts.

Apparently, I don’t move enough, so the light dies, plunging me into darkness.

But it’s only for a few seconds, because one moment I’m drowning, and the next, the most incredible sight is before me.

“Hails?” I lift my hands and wipe my wet cheeks as she steps inside the closet, letting the door shut behind her.

“What’s going on?” she asks softly, her eyes searching mine.

“I-I can’t do it,” I confess quietly.

“What are you talking about?” She closes the space between us and takes my hands in hers, squeezing supportively. “I watched warmup. You were solid. You’ve got this.”

I close my eyes for a beat, letting her words and her confidence flow through me.

But as much as I might want to believe her, I can’t.

“My parents are out there.”

A smile appears.

“That’s great, Hayden. I bet they’re excited to see you play.”

I nod, the lump in my throat stopping me from saying anything else.

But it turns out, I don’t need to. Hailee already knows.