Page 20 of Risking the Pucking Defense

Forcing the thoughts away, I open my laptop and lose myself in my emails.

It might be the off-season for the guys, but I don’t get the same luxury. Sure, there aren’t any games or press releases to schedule, but nothing else seems to stop.

By the time I come up for air, a couple of hours have passed.

It’s late, and I can only assume the party has drawn to a close, Linc and Parker slinking off to the honeymoon suite to celebrate privately.

I truly hope they’ve had the day they both always dreamed of. If anyone deserves it, it’s them. They’re so in love it’s almost sickening to watch. And it’s not just them. The other couples who have found themselves recently are just as bad.

Watching them threatens to crack a little of my confidence that no one out there is worthy. But then I remember, they’re the lucky ones.

I’m…well, I’m not.

I close my laptop and rest back against the headboard, and I regret it the second I do because my previous thoughts return.

When I was going through what Hayden is now, I was alone.

I didn’t have anyone to comfort me; they were all too focused on themselves and their own pain.

I’d have given anything for someone to come and sit next to me. They didn’t even need to say anything, just be there as silent support, so I felt less alone.

I have the hotel phone in my hand before I can stop myself, and I place my room service order, hoping that I’m not making a massive mistake.

Throwing the covers off, I pace back and forth, questioning my decision. But ten minutes later, when the door knocks, I’ve got a pair of fluffy socks on my feet and a zip-up hoodie hanging from my shoulders, ready to embark on a little midnight mission.

With two full mugs in one hand, I leave my cell behind and slip my keycard into my pocket.

The hallway is silent as I sneak toward the elevator, and when I get to the floor I want, it’s thankfully equally as quiet.

I pause at the door I slipped through earlier today and second-guess myself.

This is crazy.

Utterly fucking insane.

But…I’m here now, and the longer I stand out here, the more chance I have of getting caught.

I have two options: commit and knock or slink back up to my room and be consumed by guilt.

“Fucking hell, Hailee,” I mutter to myself as I lift my free hand and knock.

It’s late. He should probably be asleep. But with everything that’s happened, something tells me he’s wide awake.

Nothing but silence greets me, and I kick myself for being so impulsive.

There’s a chance he’s not even in there. He could be drinking in the bar with the guys, or much like I considered earlier, he could have left.

I knock again because I can’t leave until I'm sure.

I check that the hallway is still empty before leaning closer to the door and shouting, “Hayden. It’s just me.”

I’m not sure how he’ll know who “me” is, even if he can hear, but I don’t clarify.

Shit. What if he’s not alone?

The realization that he might have picked up a woman and brought her back up here has me stumbling backward.

Hayden might not have the reputation of some of the others, but no one could blame him for using the distraction right now.