Page 111 of Risking the Pucking Defense

“And I suggest you make your excuses for tomorrow’s planned travel and send someone in your place while we look into this.”

“You’re suspending me?” I ask in horror, despite knowing it’s a real possibility.

“Not at this stage. But I think it’s best you keep your distance until we have it all figured out.”

“I understand.”

Silence falls between us. I want to say that my regret over what’s happened is growing, but it isn’t. I don’t regret a single second of the time I’ve spent with Hayden. I just hope that doesn’t change with the outcome of this.

“I’ll try and talk to Anthony tonight so that we can put this to bed sooner rather than later.”

“I appreciate that, and your understanding.”

Esme smiles at me, but she bites back the words that are dancing on her tongue. She wants to be supportive, but she’s aware that doing so might just give me false hope.

I walk out of Esme’s office and then the arena with my heart in my throat, achingly aware that it could be the last time I do so.

I fight my tears the whole drive home, telling myself over and over that I did the right thing.

It would be worse if I allowed anything else to happen without telling the truth.

But knowing that doesn’t make my anxiety lessen.

Every time my cell dings with an incoming message or email, I swear my heart stops.

What I need is a friend. Someone I can be open and honest with about what’s happening. Someone who isn’t on Vipers payroll.

My options are limited. Very fucking limited. But there is one person.

And she already knows.

Hailee: Hey, are you free? I need to talk to someone.

I pull my door open with a trembling hand. I wish I could stop it, but there’s nothing I could do.

Bea didn’t see my cry for help for hours, and once she did, she tried convincing me to let her come over late last night. I refused. She’s pregnant and needs her rest, not to be running around the city after a woman who’s just single-handedly imploded her life.

I’ve managed to survive alone for the last few years, and I’m able to cope with all these unknowns I’m now dealing with. After all, I’m the only one to blame.

If I had turned around and ignored that I’d seen the one person everyone was concerned about, none of this would have happened.

“Hey,” Bea says, her eyes searching mine for answers.

The knots in my stomach pull tighter as I step back, allowing her inside.

She’s only the second person to step inside this place, and I’m achingly aware that both of those people have been in the last couple of weeks. I’m not sure how I’d managed to go years with no one and then suddenly…shit.

“Here, I brought supplies and coffee. Strong coffee,” Bea says, handing over a box of pastries and a huge takeout coffee. “Latte with an extra shot.”

“You remembered,” I whisper, instantly taken back to the morning after Linc and Parker’s wedding.

Bea shrugs like it’s nothing, but it’s not. Having someone outside of my professional life listen to me and remember something as simple as my coffee order hits harder than I’m sure it should.

“Are you okay?” she asks, concern evident in her voice as she lowers herself to my couch and sips her own coffee—decaf, I assume.

Shit.

I stand awkwardly, shifting my weight between my legs as I look everywhere but at Bea.