Page 146 of Now and Then

A few minutes later, I’m back in the car, headed across town. I need to see my girls. I send Greer and Navy a quick text.

By the time I arrive at Navy’s house, Navy is already standing on the porch, waving as if she’d been expecting me. Greer peeks around the corner with a grin, whiskey glass in hand.

“I’m surprised you could make it,” Navy says, mock stern. “We were beginning to think you’d been swallowed by your office again.”

“It’s been a day,” I say.

“That doesn’t sound great.” Greer pulls me inside.

I’m immediately welcomed with two little arms wrapped around my middle. “Miss Sutton, you’re here!” Rowan yells.

“I am! I realized there was no way I could miss out on cookie decorating with you!”

Navy elbows me in the side. “Don’t think you’re going to get away with not telling us about your day.”

“I hope it was a good day?” Greer asks, pulling out a tray of sugar cookies from the oven.

Butterflies erupt in my stomach. “It was a bit of both.”

We sink into the chaos of drinks, snacks, cookie decorating, laughter, and teasing. For a little while, the noise in my head quiets.

Later, we settle on the couch, blankets piled around us. Rowan drifts off halfway through a movie. Greer’s head rests on Navy’s shoulder while she scrolls through recipes on her phone. Rowan shifts in his sleep beside me, and I tuck the blanket close around his shoulders.

I stare at the glow of the Christmas lights across the room. My mind drifts back to this morning with Hunter.

Do it scared, babe.

My chest tightens as the truth settles.

Maybe the thing I’ve been afraid of isn’t losing Hunter.

Maybe it’s finally admitting I don’t know how to stop being afraid of losing the people I love.

31

Sutton

The house is quiet when I walk in. My extended afternoon with the girls turned into a sleepover. And it was just what I needed, but now the energy I have left is seeping slowly from my body as each minute passes.

I shrug off my coat and step out of my boots, not bothering to put them away yet. It feels like forever since I’ve slept at home—well, my mom’s home. It’s pretty obvious now my home home is wherever Hunter is.

Mom recently got back from helping her sister in Buckeye, and we’ve barely had a chance to see each other. But today, we’ve both set aside time to make pizzas, and I’m even planning on staying the night. Nothing beats hugging, smelling, and talking to my mom in person.

“Sutton? Is that you?” she calls from upstairs.

“No, it’s your other daughter.”

She runs down the hallway, feet pounding, then practically flies down the stairs to wrap me up in the biggest, warmest hug.

“Hi, Mom.” I melt into her embrace as her signature floral scent surrounds me.

“Oh, my girl, how I have missed you!” She pulls back and gently holds my face. “How is the remodel? How are the girls? Hunter? Help me with dinner and tell me everything.”

She throws questions at me so fast all I can do is nod as she leads me into the kitchen. Twinkle lights cast soft colorful lines over the counter.

We work in tandem, cutting ingredients and assembling our pizzas. We talk almost nonstop, trying to make up for lost time. We place the pies in the oven, retreat to the living room, and tuck into our respective corners.

“It’s freezing in here,” Mom says, tucking a blanket around her toes.