Page 88 of Between the Lines

Oh.

I offload them into his arms, feeling the weight lift from my body.

He does that a lot, and I’m still waiting for it to not make me falter in my steps.

We eat lunch in the back of the sailboat—gourmet turkey sandwiches and sliced fruit packed neatly in glass containers.

It’s almost noon, and I lick the last delicious crumb from my fingers, the guilt of not being at work completely gone.

Now I don’t want to move from this boat.

I’ll be thinking about this day for a long time.

“Can I ask you something?” Caden’s question breaks the comfortable silence between us.

“Yeah, what’s up?” I pull my knees to my chest, resting against the back of the seat.

“What do you want to do after Good Grinds?” Caden asks, setting his water bottle on the floor next to his bare feet.

“Like, after work today?” I furrow my brows at him.

Caden leans forward on his knees and shakes his head, gray eyes serious.

“No . . .” He shrugs. “You’re driven, you’re a hard worker, you’ve got your degree . . . I can’t imagine managing my coffee shop is your dream.”

I swallow, my heart picking up pace. I’ve suppressed my dreams for so long.

“Uhm, to be honest, I’ve been mostly focused on surviving since the day I found out I was pregnant.” I peel my eyes away, staring at the blue stripes on the beach towel beneath me. “I’ve been really happy working for you.”

“But . . .” He coaxes me, waiting.

I exhale shakily and meet his kind gaze.

“I guess I still do have a daydream . . . It’s not anything serious, just something I think about sometimes when I’m falling asleep.” I pause, but Caden continues watching me with a look I can’t place. “I always wanted to own a used bookstore. It would be a place that feels magical to step into,” I admit, feeling a bit silly. But he doesn’t look at me like it’s silly.

My mind flashes to the mood board I once created for this bookstore. Window boxes filled with wildflowers. Plush armchairs in front of big windows. An ample children’s section with bargain books. I haven’t allowed myself to look at the board for quite some time.

Caden doesn’t respond at first as we rock gently in the calm waters.

I wave my hand dismissively. “It’s just a daydream! I doubt a used bookstore is all that lucrative anyway.” I laugh, though my heart sinks a bit.

“Don’t do that.” Caden looks up at me with his brows furrowed.

“Do what?”

“Don’t dismiss your dreams.” He sits back and nudges my foot with his. “If that’s what you want to do, you shouldn’t give up on it.”

I remain motionless, words caught in my throat.

“Trust me,” he says, leaning closer, touching my knee, “money isn’t everything. Yeah, it buys security and experiences . . . but none of that is worth it if you’re unhappy in life. And the quickest way to unhappiness is letting other people’s expectations rule your life.”

“Well, I have Daisy to think about,” I whisper.

“Of course.” Caden places his hands on his thighs. “You’re a good mom, Fia. A really good mom. But don’t forget to take care of yourself too.”

I scoot towards him, resting my head on his steady warm chest. He wraps his arms around me, holding me like that for what feels like forever.

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