Page 86 of House of Crimson Cloak and Silver Teeth

I’m relieved. That’s all. Nothing else.

Silence stretches between us. I close my eyes, willing sleep to come and erase this entire night. But Garrett’s right there behind me. He is close enough that I can hear every breath he takes. Each exhale is a reminder of how little distance separates us.

My heart is screaming for me to eliminate that gap entirely, despite every logical thought in my head telling me to keep him at arm’s length.

I feel him move closer. His forehead presses against my back, cold from the river. His arm slides around my waist carefully, giving me every chance to pull away.

“I’m not trying anything, I swear,” he murmurs against my shoulder blade. “I’m just freezing my ass off from that river and you’re warm.”

A smile tugs at my mouth before I can stop it, small and private in the darkness where he can’t see. I don’t pull away. My body stays still, letting him press close. His arm settles around my waist like it belongs there.

Garrett’s forehead stays cold against my back where river water still clings to his skin, but his breath comes warm across my neck. The fire crackles and spits sparks into the air while wind whispers through the branches overhead. Night settles heavy around our camp, wrapping us in darkness and quiet. Neither of us speaks.

“I still don’t understand why you’re so angry at me,” Garrett murmurs quietly against my back.

Silence hangs between us for several heartbeats. I don’t answer right away, choosing my words carefully. “You have a family. Parents who love you. A home. Safety. Everything. How the hell did you become—”

The words stick in my throat.

“So fucked up?” he finishes for me.

I feel the air leaves my lungs as soon as he says that.

“I have loving parents, a good home, every advantage and every opportunity,” he continues, his voice rising. “I should be perfect and well-adjusted right? But instead I’m this… and you can’t understand it. How someone with everything could be so broken.”

The thought I’ve been circling all day. He’s put it into words before I could.

“I don’t want you to become...” I pause, searching for the right word. “...something you can’t come back from.”

“Why do you care what I become?” Garrett murmurs into the darkness.

I swallow the lump in my throat.

“I don’t want you to end up like me,” I say finally.

His arm tightens around my waist, pulling me closer against him. “What do you mean?”

“Because taking a life stains your soul. There’s no redemption for what I’ve done.” I stop, realizing I’m revealing too much. Showing him the rot underneath. “Every person I’ve killed leaves a mark. Eventually there’s nothing left but the marks.”

“Wolf.” He shifts, and I feel his forehead press harder between my shoulder blades. “You chose not to kill that merchant’s son. You took the punishment rather than murder an innocent. That’s not the soul of someone beyond redemption. You’re brave.”

Brave? I’m a fucking coward, Garrett.

We fall silent again. His hand stays at my waist, warm and steady. The tension between us shifts into something softer.

“You can be angry with me. Just don’t hate me,” he whispers, his voice sounding fragile and vulnerable.

“All right.” I manage.

“You can’t leave me either.” His grip tightens at my waist when he asks.

The requests keep coming, don’t they?

“I’m not going anywhere.” The promise comes out steady, even though I’m not sure I can keep it.

His breath against my neck comes out shaky. “Good.”

“What will you do?” I ask. “After you’ve killed all twelve and avenged those children.”