Page 77 of Tumbling Hearts

“Can you… can you shut the door, please?”

“Oh, sure. Yeah, that’s fine.” Santi does so, closing the door and leaving himself and Ray alone in the motel room. “Is your face alright?” He gasps. “Oh my god, did she slap you?!”

“Y-yeah, she did. Um, was Gene out there? Did you see him at all?”

“He was hanging out with Maurice and Nicky in their room. I checked up on them after I woke up, and when I left their room, that’s when I saw Carol storming out of here.”

“Oh. Okay. Thank god. I can’t imagine if he had to hear all that…”

“You mind telling me what ‘all that’ even is? So I can help you out, man.”

“Yeah. Um, we can sit down…”

Ray sits on the edge of the bed and Santi follows, sitting to Ray’s left—the side of both the slap and the hickey. He lowers his hand, showing Santi the marks.

“Ouch.” Santi winces. “She hit you hard.”

“Well, I deserved it. If you see here, too…” He points to his neck.

“Oh, yeah. I wasn’t quite sure if that was what I thought it was, or something else…”

“It’s exactly what you think it is.”

“Huh. I see.” Santi rubs his chin. “Mind telling me who it was from? It obviously wasn’t Carol.”

As much as he wants to still hide the truth, he knows there’s no point anymore. Carol will be expecting him to tell the rest of the band sometime, regardless. Besides, wasn’t Ray thinking of spilling the beans to Santiago anyway? Now’s as good a time as any. He should just go for it.

“It’s from Gene. Carol is mad because I cheated on her with Gene.”

Santi’s thick brows shoot up high on his forehead. Ray can hardly bear to look at his expression, but does anyway.

“You cheated on her with Gene,” Santi repeats.

“Yeah.” Ray nods, solemnly. “That’s the truth.”

“I knew it. I fucking knew it,” Santi says, not in an awfully accusing manner. He looks down toward his lap, bumping his fist on his leg.

“You knew?”

“I mean, I saw the signs. You and Gene all cuddly and kissy with each other. But I wasn’t sure how far things had actually gotten with you guys. I was hoping that since Carol is your girlfriend, and with how things had ended with Harriet, you were doing better and staying true to her. But it all makes sense now.” Santi points at him. “You still were weird and distant with her because… because you’re in love with Gene!”

Ray jolts, the shock of him moving causing the bed to ripple underneath them.

“Now, hang on a sec, I… um, well…”

“Oh, am I assuming too much, too soon?” Santi pulls back his finger, resting his hand in his lap.

“I—I mean, uh…”

Am I in love with Gene?

It’s such a big question to ask, one Ray definitely doesn’t want to answer on a whim. He can’t just admit something like that to Santi when he hasn’t even been able to think about it himself. Saying he had sex with Gene is one thing, but talking about his feelings is a whole ’nother can of worms.

“I don’t want to answer that right now. Um… yes, I care for Gene, obviously. But…”

“Hey, it’s okay, Ray. Sorry for bringing that up.” He puts his hand on Ray’s shoulder, rubbing it tenderly.

“I’m the one who should be sorry. Fuck. You shouldn’t be reassuring me, when Carol is the victim here. I’m the asshole who ruined her life.”