Page 69 of Tumbling Hearts

“Um… no, probably not.” All this talk is making his head spin even more. First he admits that he lusts after his best friend, and now Carol admits that she’s just as queer as he is. Maybe that’s another reason why she’s taking this all so well.

As long as she never finds out what he’s already done with Gene—and honestly, what he still hopes he can do—everything should be fine.

“Is there any lady in particular you’ve thought about?” Ray smirks, steering the conversation toward her and away from him and Gene. “Don’t tell me—is it Pat?”

“Pat?” Her cheeks darken, flushing red. “Um… I guess if it was her, I wouldn’t be opposed. But usually I would think of… the other models at my gigs. Often we change our clothes in the same rooms, and I’d catch glimpses of them naked…”

“Oh, really now?” Ray chuckles.

“Yeah…” She curls a lock of hair behind her ear.

The rest of the night goes on without any more worries, Ray teasing Carol with the new information he’s learned about her.

And while he pleasures Carol under the covers, facing toward her and not letting her see the marks on his rear, of course, his mind drifts to Gene again.

I wish I could spend the night with Gene.

Gene, Gene, Gene.

But this time, he keeps his mouth shut.

Each show blows Gene away. It’s already nearing the end of October, having played more than a dozen concerts on this tour. Performance after performance, Gene gets on stage, hammering away at the rhythm on his guitar, and he sings the blues with Ray. This tour has been wonderful—not just with the band, but also with his proximity to his best friend.

He hasn’t had another opportunity to bring Ray into his bedroom, but that’s not to say they haven’t had any time alone at all. They’ve still been writing songs on the long bus rides, jamming together backstage when the rest of the Brooms are busy, and, occasionally, they slip into a dressing room by themselves for some fun. Just like after that first show, Gene locks the door and Ray has his way with him—or the other way around. Rubbing their cocks together, fucking against the vanity, or Gene getting on his knees to suck Ray off, any way is fine. Maybe they don’t have the same privacy as a bedroom, but Gene will take what he can get. Ever since Carol almost caught them that one morning, Ray has been hesitant to join Gene in his room. Which is understandable. He can’t blame Ray for being cautious. At least in the dressing rooms, they can get away with easier excuses. It’s worked so far.

And yet, that means that every night, Ray retires to his room with Carol. It drives a dagger into Gene’s heart even thinking about it. Ray may have fun here and there with Gene—hell, he even sings with him onstage in front of thousands of people—but the one who he always returns to at the end of the night is Carol.

On this tour, the Brooms don’t share rooms with each other, which leaves Gene in his room by himself. Usually he enjoys having time alone, but when he knows Ray is right down the hall, spending each night with his girlfriend… It crushes Gene’s lungs, making him suffocate in the empty room. The only thing he’s found that gets his body to relax is to get high, calming the alarming thoughts instantly. It’s like a medicine, in a way. Like he’s regulating his internal structure.

He doesn’t feel nearly as bad when he can spend the night with a friend. Usually it’s with Nicky. He’s let Gene smoke some more of that special weed laced with something a few more times. The feeling is so fucking good, like his heart has wings, flying away to heaven.

“You know, if you ever think you’re not getting enough of it, you can always shoot it up directly instead of mixing it with something else,” Nicky says nonchalantly one night as he’s hanging with Gene in his hotel room.

“Shoot it up?” Gene’s mouth twists. “But… but that’s what junkies do.”

“Aren’t we already junkies?” Nicky laughs, taking another hit from his joint. “I’m not telling you to do it. I’m just saying it’s an option. You don’t want to go straight into mainlining anyway—just a skin poke is more than enough.”

“A skin poke…” Gene shrugs. “Well, alright. I’ll think about it. But I’m probably fine just smoking it like this.”

After another wonderful show in Phoenix, Arizona, the Dusty Brooms retire to their motel. They’ve rented almost the entire place out, needing enough space for a room for each of the main band members, along with a couple extra for the rest of their party. Gene loves the air down here in Phoenix—it’s so warm, despite being late October. A great difference compared to the chilly autumns he’s used to in Michigan. Some of the band members hang by the outdoor pool, surrounded by tall palm trees and decorated overhead by a starry night sky. However, Gene doesn’t spot Ray. He was hoping that tonight they could finally share a room again, as Carol is away. She had a modeling gig earlier in the day, all the way in New York, and she’s staying overnight there tonight as well. And if Carol isn’t going to be with Ray, then that means he could easily spend the night with Gene and she wouldn’t suspect a thing…

Gene thinks to check the cocktail lounge to see if Ray is there, as he’s not here by the pool, but before he can even enter the building, he hears one of the doors to the rooms open. It’s Ray’s door, and the man himself steps out, wearing different clothes than he had on earlier at the show. Gene remembers now—Ray said he was going to take a shower. To be fair, Gene’s mind is a little muddled from some whiskey he had during the show. But he’s glad to see Ray, his handsome best friend giving him a smile and waving for him to come over.

Gene obliges, walking around the pool toward the rooms. It doesn’t seem like anyone was paying him any mind, so he won’t worry about what anyone else thinks. There’s nothing wrong with him wanting to spend time with his closest friend. What they do behind closed doors is nobody else’s business.

Out of earshot from the rest of their party and standing in front of Ray, his hand against the doorway and leaning in close, Gene asks, “Did you want to hang out in here? Or maybe my room instead…?”

“Your room,” Ray says quickly. “Just in case. I think it works out easier that way, and… she doesn’t have a key for your room.”

Carol won’t be back until tomorrow morning, but Gene understands Ray’s worry. “Yeah, for sure.”

“Well then, without a moment to waste…” Ray shuts the door behind himself, stepping onto the sidewalk, and he grabs Gene’s hand. “Lead the way.”

Gene can’t help but smile. “Sure, though our rooms are right next to each other.”

They walk the short distance to the next room over, and Gene uses his free hand to pull his key out of his pants pocket. After they both step inside, Gene is quick to lock it back up again. As he kicks his boots off and shuffles off his socks, he notices Ray wearing a pair of loafers he’s never seen before. And when Ray slides them off, there’s another surprise. Deep, vermilion red socks.

“You get new shoes and socks?” Gene asks, standing up straight.