Page 35 of Tumbling Hearts

They break apart for a moment, panting out warm breaths, gazing into each other’s eyes. Gene is so fucking handsome. Ray is compelled to kiss him again. So he does, once more, tugging at Gene’s long hair. And Gene kisses him back, forcefully, aggressively. That heat moves lower, further down Ray’s abdomen. It excites him, feeling Gene’s arousal also rubbing against him, but a sudden fear strikes Ray’s chest.

Carol is just in the bathroom. She could come out at any moment. What if she heard us?

Ray pulls away again, still close enough that their foreheads touch, moving his hands to Gene’s shoulders. Gene’s grip loosens as well, still holding onto Ray’s waist.

“I’m going to miss you while you’re gone,” Ray admits.

“I’ll miss you too, Ray.”

“If you’re gone for a few weeks… I don’t think we’ve ever been apart for that long since we first moved in together.”

“No, I don’t think so. But I’ll be back. It’s only temporary.”

“Alright. I guess I’ll just have to deal with it.”

“I’ll make sure to call. Check in, see how the album’s doing.”

Ray steps away as even more fear clogs his throat, worried about Carol overhearing. He reluctantly lets go of Gene’s shoulders, and Gene pulls himself off Ray. The melancholy look in Gene’s eyes forces that pressure behind his own again. But no, he can’t cry. Not when he might encounter his girlfriend in the hallway. “Carol’s probably close to being done with her bath. I should go.”

A sad smile graces Gene’s face. “Yeah. Um… I’ll catch you sometime later, I guess.”

“Alright.” He gives the same smile back before he reaches for the doorknob, opening it and exiting into the hallway.

Ray blows out twenty-three little candles on his cake, instantly darkening the room. An eruption of applause follows. Carol is to his left, giggling up a storm, and Gene is to his right, patting him on the shoulder. It always feels weird every year getting ‘older’ than Gene, though it’s not by much. Gene will catch up to Ray’s age soon enough, his own twenty-third birthday coming up in November.

Carol is the youngest of the group, having only turned twenty back in June, a year younger than Ray’s brother Mick, who’s here visiting today. Santiago is the oldest of all of them at twenty-five years old, and he flicks the lightswitch on, brightening the room again. Well, actually: of their entourage, Maurice is the oldest at twenty-seven. But he’s currently not present at Ray’s party, unfortunately. Maurice’s partner, Kenneth, has to work the next morning, and with the two of them still living in Grand Rapids, it wouldn’t work for them to drive all the way out here to Lake Orion. Maurice had promised Ray that he and Kenneth would visit some other time soon, though, and he’d bring the photos that they’d recently taken in the studio.

One more person also isn’t present—Toshiko, thankfully. Gene dropped her off at the airport earlier today. While Ray should be happy that she’s finally gone, a dark cloud still hangs over him. She may not be here physically, but her lingering presence still is, in the form of knowing that she is Gene’s girlfriend now. Gene will be traveling to California in a couple days to be with her. And when he comes back, who knows whether she’ll return with him?

I almost hope something goes terribly wrong and they split.

But Ray knows that kind of thinking is hypocritical. He can’t be wishing for Gene and Toshiko to break up when he’s got Carol right beside him. If anything, shouldn’t he work on strengthening his bond with his own girlfriend? Guilt plagues him whenever he’s intimate with her, which is only about once a week at this point. But no matter what, no matter fucking what, he can’t forget those special nights he had with Gene on the Fourth of July.

He knows Gene can’t forget, either. The kiss they shared a few days ago confirmed it.

“Would you like the first slice, Birthday Boy?” Santiago asks, plucking Ray out of his thoughts.

“Ah, yeah, thanks. Thanks, everyone.” Ray smiles, gazing around at all of his friends in the dining room.

“I can get these out for you, unless you want to do the honors.” Santi delicately places his pointer finger and thumb on the edge of one of the candles.

“Go for it. Thanks for helping me out.” Ray nods. Santiago was the one who baked this beautiful cake anyway. Apparently Santi used to help his mother bake cakes for all his brothers’ birthdays back home growing up, and he’s had a blast baking for the Brooms’ birthdays too—even Carol’s—as long as that day wasn’t during a tour.

Ray cuts a slice for himself and sets it on a plate from the table. “You want me to get you a slice too, babe?” he asks Carol.

“Yes please,” she says.

He does just that, then turns toward his best friend. “How ’bout you, Gene?”

Gene shrugs, giving him a shaky smile. “If you want to. I don’t mind.”

“I want to,” Ray reassures. “Everyone else, though? You’re on your own.” He lifts the cake knife and waves it around, pointing it at everyone and making them laugh.

After eating his slice—and sipping on a little alcohol, too—Ray heads into the living room, stopping by the stereo. “Hey Mick, you wanna pick a new record to play?” he asks his brother. “You always know exactly what I’m in the mood for.”

“Sure thing, if you don’t mind me looking through your record rack,” Mick says, stepping over to the bookcase in question.

“Go ahead, man.”