Page 21 of Tumbling Hearts

Well, that makes sense. As long as they never slip up that what they did was more than friendly, Carol will never know. She won’t suspect a thing. Gene and Ray are simply best friends who went on a retreat together.

It also reminds Gene that—yes, they never did go to a bar. They didn’t drink any alcohol during the entire trip. He was sober. There were maybe a couple of times he thought of drinking or smoking weed, but with how fun he was having with Ray, all those other things didn’t seem to matter. At least not at that moment, anyway.

“Yeah, it was just us,” Gene says to her. “I wanna say, the only other people we talked to other than ourselves were the clerk at the motel and when we had to order food,” he chuckles.

“Again, if you say so.” Carol shrugs.

“I think they’re telling the truth,” Pat says. “No need to keep pushing it.”

“I wasn’t pushing it.” Carol pouts, but softens her expression when she looks at Ray. “But anyway, regardless of all that, I missed you, Ray. I couldn’t stop thinking of you, wondering what you were up to while I watched the fireworks with the others.”

Ray gives her a sheepish smile. “I—I missed you too, babe.”

No he didn’t. Liar. Any time I brought up girls, he told me he didn’t want to think about that.

Carol doesn’t know that, though, and she walks closer to Ray, throwing her arms around his neck and pulling him close. Every time Gene has to see them like that, it makes his gut churn. They haven’t been here for even ten whole minutes, and he can already feel a pressure behind his eyes, a lump in his throat. Oh, if only he could trade places with Carol, being the one with his own arms around Ray. “You still have to make this all up to me, remember?” Carol says. “About not seeing the fireworks together.”

“Oh, uh… yeah! What were you thinking?” Ray asks all too cheerfully.

“I’ve already made plans, so that way you can’t back out.” She smirks, leaning in even closer to Ray’s face. Gene’s stomach flips. “I asked Dennis for help, and he got the motel room all booked for us. Next weekend, we’re going to Cedar Point.”

“Cedar Point?” Ray’s brows shoot up high.

Gene tastes bile.

“That sounds like fun,” Pat says.

Not for me.

“It’ll be tons of fun!” Carol brushes noses with Ray. “I heard they just added a new coaster this year, which is cool. Besides, we’ve never had a vacation with just the two of us. I thought it was only proper that we do something like that, especially since I’m your girlfriend, y’know.”

Rub it in, why don’t you. A frown tugs on Gene’s face. He can feel his temperature rising.

Yet while he’s frowning, Ray is smiling. It doesn’t even seem like a forced smile, no, he actually looks excited. Maybe he’s just good at faking it, but what if he’s not? A trip to an amusement park does sound like fun. Gene knows he shouldn’t be so jealous—he was expecting something like this—but it still hurts all the same.

“Yeah, for sure,” Ray says to Carol. “I haven’t been to Cedar Point since I was a kid. This is gonna be great. Thanks for setting this up for us, babe.”

Babe. Gene scowls.

“Of course, Ray.”

And then⁠—

Ray leans in closer, snatching Carol’s lips in a kiss.

She’s kissing the same lips Gene had kissed only hours earlier. Kissing the same man that Gene shared music with and bared his soul to. The same man Gene had fucked. And now that man is with her.

But Gene knows, unfortunately, Ray will never truly be his. This is his reality. They are both men; he can’t have Ray in the same way a man can have a woman. That’s why Ray won’t break up with Carol despite everything that happened in St. Ignace.

“Hey, Gene, what’s with the face?” Pat asks, snapping him out of his thoughts.

“Oh, uh…” He has to think of something quick. “I’m just a little jealous that Ray gets to go on this trip and not the rest of us.”

“You literally just got back from a vacation with Ray, though, didn’t you?” Pat raises an eyebrow.

“W-well, it’s not like we went on any roller coasters.” He lets out a nervous laugh. Sweat drips down his cheek.

“It’s okay, Gene,” Ray says, taking a step away from Carol but, unfortunately, still keeping a hand on her arm. “Maybe we could all go some other time?”