Page 101 of Tumbling Hearts

And look at me now, still pining after him all this time.

“But, even so, there’s nothing wrong being gay,” Ray tells Mick. “If our parents believe that, they’re wrong. Do you know my friend, Maurice? He’s gay, too.”

“What, really?” Mick’s eyes widen. “Wait, does that mean his friend Kenneth is…?”

“Yup, they’re boyfriends. I guess I haven’t told you about them, since you don’t really see them all that much.”

“Yeah, I had no idea. But that’s really cool.” Mick smiles.

“Now you know.” Ray gives him a smile back. It’s so easy for Ray to talk about anyone but himself. But with the topic at hand, and Mick confiding in him something so personal, maybe Ray should tell him what’s been going on in his own life. Mick already knows about him cheating, and as his brother, he should know this.

“And, uh… It’s not just Maurice that’s… queer.” Ray clears his throat. “Something must run in the family, if you’re gay, Mick.”

“Run in the family…? Wait, Ray, are you saying that…?”

“Yup.” Ray rubs Mick’s shoulder. “I like guys, too. I like both guys and girls.”

“Really?” Mick chuckles. “So you’re bisexual.”

“I guess that’s the word, yeah.” Ray nods, moving his hand back down to his lap. “You know this whole problem with me cheating on Carol? Well, it all kinda stems from this whole… bisexual thing.”

“Wait. Hang on.” Mick holds a hand up. “So you’re saying—confirming to me—that you cheated on her with a guy?”

“W-well, yeah. You got that right.”

“Who was it with? Wait, you don’t even have to tell me. It was Gene, right?” Mick asks with a devilish grin, one Ray almost never sees on his brother’s face.

“What?!” Ray gasps, his heart beating fast. “How did you know?”

“Lucky guess?” Mick chuckles. “It almost seemed like there was something going on between you two, but I couldn’t be sure since you were dating Carol. He’s your best friend; you’re always so close to him. But I remember on your birthday, he sang that song for you: ‘It Was Always You’.”

Ray’s face burns thinking about that. He loved the song Gene sang, how he chose such a sweet one for his birthday. But was there some sort of underlying meaning…? “I guess it’s just that obvious, huh?”

“Like I said, I couldn’t be sure. But there were signs. With Gene singing you that song, it was almost like… he was proclaiming his love to you.”

“Love?!” If Ray thought his cheeks were hot before, they’re really on fire now.

“You two love each other, in a way, if you’re best friends, right?”

“W-well, yeah. I just… I haven’t really thought about our feelings deeper than that, I guess.” Ray shrugs.

“Maybe that’d be something to look into? I mean, if you guys went so far as for you to cheat on Carol…”

“I don’t know. What good would it do, since Gene has his own girlfriend: Toshiko? It’s all so fucking complicated. We’re in a famous rock band, too. Gah, it’s just…”

“Hey, it’s alright.” This time, Mick puts his own hand on Ray’s shoulder. “Sorry you’ve been going through it. And that Mom and Dad maybe made things worse.”

“Well, none of that’s your fault. You’re fine, Mick.” Ray takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “Maybe we should turn the subject back to you, and your… awakening, I guess you could call it,” he chuckles.

“Oh, yeah, that’s fine.” Mick smiles.

“Now, this friend of yours…” Ray can’t help but ask, being too curious. “I know you said he has his own boyfriend, but… did you ever have a crush on him?”

“What! Oh no, no, not Fred.” Mick’s face is beet red, and he waves his hands in front of himself. “He’s just my friend! He’s not even my type, anyway.”

“Oh? So what is your type?”

“Uh…” Mick fidgets with his hands again, and then adjusts his glasses. “Well, look at the poster right there on the wall.”