Page 145 of Faultlines

“That I betrayed Claire long before I ever kissed Brooke.”

Finally, Dr. Rutledge says, “That realization is painful, but it’s also important. Healing can’t begin until we’re honest about where the boundaries were crossed.”

“I convinced myself the affair started the night we slept together.”

“And now?”

“Now I know it started the first time I chose Brooke over my wife.”

I notice Claire tracing the edge of her mother’s pendant, an unconscious ritual that always gives her away.

He turns to her. “Okay, let’s switch gears. Claire, tell me about the dinner with Daniel Mercer.”

She looks surprised by the question, her tear-streaked face confused by the topic change. “It was productive.”

“Tell me more.”

As she speaks, her posture straightens, and she becomes animated. It hits me then, she isn’t excited about Daniel. She’s excited about this project he proposed. About a cause she loves.

He must notice my expression because when Claire finishes speaking, he turns to me. “What are you thinking?” he asks.

I work past the knot in my throat. “I think I was a crappy husband.”

Neither of them says anything, so I keep going. “When Claire started working again, I knew everything about Juniper House. The girls’ names, their stories. Who was struggling, who was succeeding.”

I pause, the memory sharp. “Then, somewhere along the way, I—stopped. I started feeling sorry for myself because I didn’t have all of her anymore.”

The admission feels worse hearing it spoken aloud.

“And you became resentful,” he says. It’s not a question.

“I kept score,” I admit. “Every late night, every crisis—it all became proof that I wasn’t important. That there wasn’t room for me. I used it as an excuse to be close to Brooke.”

He nods, his chair creaking. “And what did you do with that resentment?”

“I fed it.”

“How?”

“I convinced myself that I deserved my relationship with Brooke.”

Claire snorts.

“Why was it easier to start the affair than to tell Claire how you were feeling?” His voice is calm, but the question piercing.

“I kept telling myself that she’d chosen her work over me. The resentment was already there, coiled tight. I just needed a reason to let it strike.”

CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE

FAULT EXPOSED

Claire

The afternoon sun is blinding as I step out of Dr. Rutledge’s office. I pause beside my car, one hand resting on the metal of the door. Ethan’s words still echo in my mind. Pieces of a truth I’d spent months imagining, only to discover the reality was more complicated than I’d prepared myself for.

“Claire.” I glance over my shoulder. He stands a few feet away, his hands shoved deep into his jacket pockets. “Are you okay?”

I haven’t been okay for months. But sitting in that office, something new surfaced through the grief. Understanding.