Page 84 of Zero Confusion

“I love you, Zee,” he said. “Please never leave me again.”

Zach closed his eyes and took a ragged breath.

“I’ve been miserable, Miles,” he finally said. “It was hard enough to be away from you when we were just best friends, but knowing what it’s like to sleep in the same bed and wake up together, to kiss you, to be allowed to love you the way I’ve always wanted… It was impossible. I barely managed.”

Miles’s chest tightened, and he tugged Zach closer. Zach went willingly, burrowing his face in Miles’s shoulder.

“You’re the most important person in the world to me,” Miles murmured into Zach’s hair. “I never want to be apart from you.”

Zach mumbled something into his neck, but Miles didn’t catch a single word.

“What?”

Zach pushed away by a few inches. “I don’t want to either, but it’s gonna happen,” he muttered without meeting Miles’s gaze. “We both have school, so we won’t see each other for a while before we can move back.”

“It’s only a year, Zee. And we’ll…” Miles paused in the middle of trying to comfort Zach as the rest of his words registered. He was the first to admit that an orgasm could make his brain a little sluggish, but Zach wasn’t making any sense. “What are you talking about? Move back?”

“You’re going back after graduation, so I figured I’d be going too.” Zach’s eyebrows drew together. “Unless you don’t want me to?”

“Of course I don’t want you to!” Miles rose up on his elbow, unable to contain his confusion. “What happened to staying in Portland?”

“Didn’t we just talk about how we wanted to be together?” Zach’s voice quivered on the last word. “Or did you mean a long-distance relationship? You don’t want to…live together?”

Wow. That was the second time today he’d managed to fuck up communicating with Zach. He was on a roll.

“Sweetheart.” He grabbed Zach’s hand and laced their fingers together. “I’m not going back to Montana when I graduate. I want to live here. With you.”

Chapter 31

ZACH

Could really good sex result in vivid auditory hallucinations? Incredibly realistic ones where the love of your life tells you everything you’ve always wanted to hear?

The only other possibility was that Zach died in a freak accident on his walk home, and the past hour had been the result of his brain letting him down gently.

That had to be it. Because the alternative was that Miles was actually offering to abandon his entire life plan to move to Portland with Zach. And sure, Zach had offered the exact same thing a moment ago, but that hadn’t felt like much of a sacrifice.

He didn’t care where they were, as long as he had Miles.

He’d rather live in a shack in the middle of a wheat field with Miles than be alone in a big city. In fact, he would choose Miles over the biggest and greatest cities in the world. Over getting an MBA, over bustling art scenes and quirky bakeries with twenty different kinds of bread, over dance clubs, over sidewalks, over anything. He would sacrifice all of it.

Yet he’d never stopped to wonder what Miles was willing to sacrifice for Zach.

“Are you sure?” Zach whispered, a burst of hope flaring inside him. “It would make more sense for me to move back than for you to give up your plans.”

“They were never my plans, Zee. I went along with what my parents wanted, and it’s about time for me to step up and figure out what I want.” Miles leaned in and softly brushed their cheeks together, causing a swarm of butterflies to explode in Zach’s stomach.

“And this is what you want?”

“You are what I want. You and that rosemary focaccia. That’s all I need to be happy.”

A beat passed, then Zach burst out laughing, and Miles joined in, letting the tension dissipate. There was a lot to discuss—how to deal with the year apart or their families’ reactions—but it could wait until later. For now, all Zach wanted was to cuddle up to his best friend and get lost in their bubble.

They did that for the rest of the afternoon, taking a quick shower to clean up before lying in bed and talking about everything from Zach’s class to Max’s inability to get around on crutches. They detoured to the couch to eat pizza and watch a movie on the laptop before another slow, sensuous make-out session.

Miles hadn’t mentioned leaving, and Zach didn’t want to ask outright, afraid of the answer. Miles hadn’t brought anything with him—no suitcase or even a backpack. All signs pointed to his imminent departure, so Zach clung to each moment they spent together.

As it neared bedtime, Zach tried to stifle the yawns, but they kept coming. He hadn’t been sleeping well, and the exhaustion was making itself known.