Page 50 of Zero Confusion

The reaction was instantaneous. Zach gasped and bucked his hips, thrusting into Miles’s fist. In this moment, he was utterly lost to the world. He belonged to Miles. Only Miles.

“This isn’t just for lube.” Miles leaned in, growling the words into Zach’s ear. “I’m marking you.”

He loosened his grip, sliding down to Zach’s balls and rolling them in his palm, slipping two fingers into the crease, rubbing the slick mixture into Zach’s skin.

“I’m covering your pretty cock and your tight little balls in my come. You’re mine.”

Zach exhaled sharply and quivered, his helpless, begging gaze fixed on Miles. The familiar light-gray of his irises was gone, replaced by the bottomless black of blown-out pupils, and Miles gave in to the unspoken plea.

Three pumps later, Zach came with a low moan, sagging into the trunk, his gaze never wavering away from Miles.

Chapter 19

ZACH

After breakfast, Jerry insisted on dragging Zach along.

“A bit early for this, no?” Zach eyed the winter wheat as they reached the edge of the field. It was barely July, but the golden heads were already heavy, ripe for harvest.

“We’ve had a warm spring, so it’s a bit ahead of schedule,” Jerry replied. “It was probably warm in Portland too, right?”

Zach shrugged. “I guess.”

Jerry glanced at him, as if expecting a follow-up, and when nothing came, he started telling a story about one of their neighbors. Half listening, Zach waded through the wheat, lightly brushing his fingertips against the dry, whisper-soft spikes.

He had a lot on his mind. Despite nodding along to the steady stream of one-sided conversation, his thoughts were all over the place, bouncing wildly between worry about missing class, anxious guilt over not telling his family the truth, and Miles.

Mostly Miles.

Sure, his professor’s curt note grudgingly approving the absence stirred up some apprehension about passing the class, and keeping secrets weighed heavily on his soul, but the majority of his brainpower was spent on replaying different moments from the previous night.

Miles had been perfect in every way, from the filthy dirty talk and forceful way he thrust into Zach’s mouth, to the sweetness afterward, when he smoothed every wrinkle on Zach’s shirt and insisted on walking him home. They held hands on the way, making butterflies swoop around Zach’s stomach in a frenzy. Miles even gave him a tender kiss goodbye at the door, which would have made Zach ecstatic if not for Miles’s furtive glance around to make sure they were alone first.

The care he put into making sure Zach stayed safe was thoughtful, and Zach appreciated it. He really did. Just this once, though, he could have done without the reminder. The way Miles looked at Zach as if they had all the time in the world made it far too easy to believe in the fantasy of a future, of holding hands and kissing without hesitation. Literally ducking into shadows had all but shattered it.

As soon as the kiss ended and Miles’s departing silhouette faded away, reality slammed into Zach like a raging bull.

None of this was real. All that waited for him at home was a family that didn’t understand him and a life he didn’t want.

Still, he was determined to savor this with Miles—whatever this was—for as long as he could. Every minute alone, every surreptitious smile, every soft touch. Heartbreak was inevitable, the end already looming as the date on his return ticket crept closer, but he wanted to take advantage of every moment they had left. To make them worth remembering.

And so his thoughts tumbled around in circles, like a load of laundry, until he couldn’t stand them anymore. When Jerry jumped down to sit in the combine’s shade and announced lunchtime, Zach unwrapped one of the sandwiches their mom had prepared and promised himself to be more in the moment. Unfortunately, the moment consisted of unbearable heat and Jerry’s never-ending praise for the combine. Which had honestly turned out to be a little disappointing—reeking of diesel fumes and noisier than a jet engine.

As they ate, Zach searched his mind for something—anything—to say to Jerry. Only two years separated them, yet they’d never shared the easy closeness Miles enjoyed with Max. There had always been a distance between them, a thin, invisible barrier that kept their conversations in the safe territory of small talk. It hadn’t helped that, once Jerry hit high school and discovered dating, every topic somehow circled back to girls.

Thankfully, he’d mellowed with time. Zach had expected him to be married by now, but he’d never had a relationship last longer than a few months. To their mother’s eternal frustration, his older brother seemed content with playing the field instead of giving her a steady stream of grandchildren.

“You don’t care about this, do you?” Jerry asked with a smirk.

Shit, what had they been talking about? Zach cast about for a response that might make it seem like he’d been paying attention, but he came up blank.

“No, it’s really impressive.” That was probably the safest thing to say, assuming Jerry was still talking about horsepower.

“Oh, yeah.” Jerry nodded with a serious expression. “It is really impressive that the Greenes are thinking of getting a milk goat.”

Zach’s cheeks heated in embarrassment. “Fuck, man, sorry. I’m completely in my head.”

“I noticed. You haven’t said much all day. Everything okay with school?”