Page 24 of Zero Confusion

“That’s not what I meant. Are you safe…during?”

“Oh.” Zach paused and bit down on his lip. “Yeah, I am,” he finally said with a determined shake of his head. “I never do full-body restraints, and I always have an exit strategy.”

Good enough. It had to be. Now that Miles knew about this part of Zach’s life, he’d never stop worrying about the dangers, but Zach was an adult, and he wasn’t helpless. Miles had a feeling Zach wouldn’t be helpless even with his arms and legs tied down.

“Will you show me your cuffs?” he asked in an attempt to redirect the conversation. “The ones you mentioned in the chat.”

“What?” Zach sputtered. “Are you fucking serious? No!”

He wriggled out of Miles’s grasp and hopped to his feet. Miles missed him instantly, lifting his hands in surrender, wishing he hadn’t opened his mouth. “I’m sorry, forget I asked. I was just curious.”

Zach paced the small distance between the couch and the bed, sending indignant glares in his direction. After stalking back and forth for a while, he halted. “Fine.” Without another word, he dropped to his knees and crawled under the bed, emerging with a black plastic tote. “I can’t fucking believe I’m doing this,” he grumbled before popping off the lid.

Miles moved at the speed of light, worried Zach would change his mind before he got there, and plopped down on the floor.

“Go ahead.” Zach gestured at the tote in resignation, and Miles inched forward to peek inside.

If his skin was heated before, it was burning now. His pulse had definitely dipped into heart attack territory as his fingertips gingerly brushed up against each item, taking them out one at a time. The leather cuffs were as soft as described—malleable and buttery, connected by a thin silver chain. Underneath, a length of silky rope was wadded into a ball, and Miles chuckled as he imagined Zach being too impatient to put it away correctly. There were more things to discover, and Miles examined them thoroughly, wordlessly checking in with Zach before taking them out of the box—a pair of cheap fuzzy handcuffs, a blindfold, a contraption that resembled a collar with a piece of silicone in the front. The faint indentations on its surface clued him in.

“It’s a gag?” he asked, and Zach nodded with a blush.

When he got to the bottom, he found a large purple dildo, the glossy silicone smooth under his fingertips. Miles had never seen one in person before, and he was fascinated by its shape, but as soon as he touched it, Zach gasped and swatted his hand.

“Nope, no, no, I don’t think so.” He laughed in embarrassment. “Look at the other stuff all you want, but I draw the line at anything that’s been inside me.”

Miles reluctantly agreed, wishing he didn’t have to stop, intensely curious about every single thing that had ever touched Zach’s body. But Zach had been accommodating enough. Especially after Miles managed to trample all over his boundaries.

He slowly started putting everything back inside.

Zach watched him for a moment with a smile. “You don’t have to be so careful. It’s not exactly the crown jewels.” Dragging the tote closer, he carelessly threw everything back inside and shoved it under the bed.

“Thank you, Zee,” Miles murmured once they moved back to the couch. “For trusting me with this.”

Zach scoffed. “First the gay thing, now this. Bet you wish you grew up next door to Peter instead.”

Miles chuckled at the mention of their prim and proper classmate from high school. “Nah. You have way better taste in movies than Peter.”

Zach laughed, the anxious creases around his eyes softening, and Miles breathed a sigh of relief as the tension between them dissipated.

He settled on the bed with his sketchbook to let his friend study in peace and mulled over their conversation. He hated how easily self-deprecating words rolled off Zach’s tongue. Even in jest, he made it sound like there was something wrong with him, like he was less.

But he wasn’t less. He couldn’t be.

He was everything.

Chapter 11

ZACH

The rest of the day was spent on research for the newest class project—creating his own PR campaign for a fake brand controversy. A fast-food chain coming under fire for their misuse of the farm fresh label had seemed easy enough when Zach picked it, but after hours of reading about similar cases online and agonizing over language for the apology video, he was no closer to finding an elegant solution.

Maybe he should have gone with the publishing house that only signed young, attractive authors.

Every time he checked, Miles was in the same spot—leaning against the headboard, balancing a sketchbook on his knee, staring at his phone. Tiny black earbuds peeked out of his ears, and even without sound, Zach could guess Miles was watching drawing tutorials.

It was a strange hobby for someone who’d never shown any interest in the arts growing up, but there was a lot more to Miles than most people realized. Pride filled Zach’s chest at his best friend for trying something new and sticking with it, for ignoring his family’s teasing at winter break as he practiced cubes and spheres on every available surface, for having at least one thing in his life that was about the journey more than the destination.

Sunlight streamed through the window, bathing the room in golden hues as hours passed. The soft clacking of his fingers on the keyboard and the swish of Miles’s pencil across paper floated in the silence as each of them focused on their goal. So easy, so cozy and domestic, he loved how seamlessly Miles fit into his life without demanding all his attention. This contented glow lasted through dinner and well into the evening, filling Zach with warmth every time their eyes made contact.