Page 90 of Tough Call

I laughed, drawing him in, and we shared another long kiss.

But of course, I couldn’t enjoy it as much as I wanted to. Not with everything else hanging over our heads.

As we separated again, I sighed. “This fucking sucks.”

“It does.” Connor exhaled. “And I just… I hate the idea of you losing out on this because of me. But I don’t feel right sneaking around, either.”

I winced. “Yeah. Looking over our shoulders all the time, it…” I shook my head. “Just trying not to get caught in Prague was kind of stressful, and you weren’t even officiating my division.”

He nodded. “Exactly. I… I don’t want you to lose out on this contract. And I don’t want to lose my job either. But…” His Adam’s apple bobbed as he combed his fingers through my wet hair. “Maybe what we need to do is come clean.”

I tensed. “Come—like, tell the League?”

He nodded slowly. “I don’t like it. I really don’t. And I’m terrified it’ll cost you this opportunity.”

“Or cost you your job,” I whispered.

“That, too. I… it scares the hell out of me, even thinking about telling the League about us. But if we don’t tell them and someone finds out…”

“What’s that expression?” Mülly had said. “It’s better to beg forgiveness than ask permission?”

When he’d said it, it had made perfect sense. Just slide under the radar, and if we got caught, we could say, “It’s been fine this whole time, so why can’t we continue?”

But that could also blow up catastrophically in our faces. Even without a rule explicitly forbidding us from being involved with each other, it would cause exactly the kind of public scandal the League was trying to avoid. Especially another public scandal involving on-ice officials.

“Maybe you’re right,” I said. “Maybe we should tell the League.”

Connor nodded, his stubble scuffing across the pillowcase. “We should. I’d rather be on the up-and-up and see how things play out than get outed and ruin either of our careers.” He stroked fingertips down my cheek. “I also don’t want to risk you getting your PTO yanked, but… I don’t know what else to do.”

I covered his hand with mind and kissed the inside of his wrist. “Let’s tell them. We’ll just come out with it and let the people in charge make the decision.”

Chewing his lip, he nodded again. “I should reach out to my boss. He’ll probably want to loop in the League’s legal department and… God, I don’t even know who else.”

I swallowed. “I’ll message Kirils. And I guess we’ll… We’ll see how it goes.”

“We will.” He drew me in closer. “Hopefully this is bigger in our heads than it is in reality.”

“Hopefully.”

I wasn’t holding my breath, though.

I was, however, holding the man I loved, and I pulled him into a kiss. When our lips met this time, our whole situation was at the forefront of my mind, but it didn’t make me pull away. It didn’t kill the mood.

It just made me hold Connor closer. It made me kiss him deeper until we were both breathless.

We’d set up a call with the powers that be… but not right this second.

Right now, we had more important things to focus on.

CHAPTER 30

CONNOR

Thanks to time zones and busy schedules, it took almost forty-eight hours to get everyone on the same video call. Madars’ agent. A rep from the players’ association. Someone from the NAL’s legal department. My boss. Fuck, that was an intimidating panel of people; I was genuinely surprised the League commissioner wasn’t joining.

By the time we were connecting to the call, I was ready to puke from nerves.

“It’ll be okay.” Madars ran his hand up my back as we sat on the couch waiting for others to join the call. “Just breathe.”